The world is not a perfect place. People can be cruel and selfish, even if you feel as though you've done nothing to harm them. At times like these, you may be tempted to ask yourself, "Why are they like this?" In reality, the question should be, "Why does this matter, and what can I do?"

This does not mean you're not supposed to care about someone's dilemna or not empathize with them, but you need to understand how much of a possible role you ACTUALLY play in their issues. For example, if someone is having random outbursts of anger, it might be best just to let this slide for a while until they realize the repercussions of their actions. People often get angry if they feel lonely, tired, or even hungry, and in situations like this, it's important to realize how much of a problem you're NOT causing them. Eventually, they may just chill out and apologize if they are a good friend of yours, and you can go about your day. Maybe you could even ask if they need advice or if some outside factor is genuinely bothering them. That's an inviting opportunity for a healthy conversation, and it keeps you from feeling as though you've injured the friendship.

Now, what if this is on a much larger scale? Suppose someone is staying very isolated, or perhaps they are making poor choices that you can't advise them against, what then, do you do?

Absolutely nothing.

In a previous article of mine, I mentioned that powerlessness over something is very important to recognize, and even though you feel you may know what's best in certain situations, this thought is best left behind. You can no more control another person than you can stop the sun from rising, so it's best to get used to it. What you can do, however, is use this situation to your advantage. Maybe talk to a friend or therapist about your own feelings on the matter and find healthy outlets to deal with it, like journaling or painting. If you feel that the problem isn't getting any better, or if you've noticed very obvious dips in the quality of someone's lifestyle, maybe it's best to avoid the person altogether until they show the effort they are meant to and become willing to improve their own life. In doing so, you can keep the focus on yourself as they improve. They may even come to you time to time for advice of their own, which you may feel free to oblige.

You should never take another person's personal inventory for them. Doing so makes you vulnerable to the thought that you have power where you do not. Such an expectation can lead to suffering when unforeseen circumstances take place, possibly leaving you with more pain than you might have felt, had you kept the focus of your life on you.

Remember: in your own life, you are the main character of your own story. You cannot decide someone else's actions, affiliations, or beliefs for them. They are writing their story, and you must continue with yours. And if they do wrong by you, don't worry. Forgiveness is meant to cleanse your own soul, and showing that you are willing to make and accept amends shows personal growth and sincerity. Karma is nothing, if but patient.

Your life is about you. It must be lived by you, and no one else. While "me first" is not a good slogan to have, you must recognize when your own needs aren't being met and when your life seems unmanageable. Perhaps you may have done some of this yourself, putting too many of your own eggs in someone else's basket. In this case, perhaps you are in serious need of yourself and should take a day to enjoy your own company. The greatest change begins and ends with you.

"Confusion is a sign of growth."