It’s a new year and that means resolutions. Gyms that were bare just last week are now crammed and health food supplies are quickly running low.

Every year we make a list for ourselves of how we can be better. We want to lose weight, or laugh more, or eat healthier. Some of these goals are understandable and easy to reach, and others are goals that we may never be able to come close to.

Because of our tendency to strive for achievements in timeframes out of our capability, I have seen a change in my peers when it comes to the new year. More and more of my friends have stopped making resolutions and started talking about how toxic and how bad resolutions can be for you. They say things like “I wouldn’t be able to stick with it anyway”, or “New year, same me”. They consistently talk about how nothing will change and how this year will go just as bad as the last.

Well, my friends, that’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy.

If you tell yourself you’re going to fail, of course, you’ll never succeed.
If you say that you’re never going to change, you never will.

Now, listen to me. Unrealistic goals are not good for you. You’re never going to lose 50 pounds in a month and you’re not going to have tons of money saved in a couple of weeks. That just isn’t feasible. Telling yourself that you will is just setting yourself up for not only failure but for the development of some really bad, potentially life-threatening situations.

Making yourself throw up to lose weight is not a healthy way to lose weight, and gambling is not a safe way to earn money. These are never resolutions you should set yourself, but these are the resolutions I continue to see that has caused such a mindset of toxicity.

In order to protect yourself from these dangerous circumstances, you need to set yourself long-term goals, with short term goals specified for you. This can be extremely beneficial and may set you up for success this new year.

Let me explain. Let’s return to the concept of losing 50 pounds in a month.

That isn’t going to happen, your body just can’t handle that.

However, what if you say you want to lose 50 pounds in 8 months? That’s a lot easier for your body to handle and a much healthier time frame than the original.

So that’s your long-term goal. 8 months. 50 pounds.

So your short-term goals might be to go a week without eating fast food or chocolate, and then maybe to make it to the gym three times during the week. These goals focus on the here and now while still pushing you towards that larger goal. Your chance of success goes up, and your chance of having a much more pleasant experience does as well.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself. You’re allowed to want to be a smarter, fitter, or happier person than you were the year before. The difference, however, is how you set yourself up.

Be safe and happy this new year, and don’t give up on your goals. Change takes time, but it’s worth the wait.