When I joined the crew team in high school, I discovered a competitive edge I never knew I had. I had always been academically-driven, and for most of my life, school came easy for me. While I considered myself to be a good student, I didn’t know what to do when things became too difficult. It was through athletics that I learned to push through when I found something I couldn’t do, and to then to push myself even more to do it right. It was through athletics that I learned to be comfortable in my own body, to own up to my mistakes, to take pride in my achievements, and to force myself to get up early in the morning for practice despite being a life-long night owl.
In short, athletics was how I learned to be a real person.
But there is more to being an athlete than going through the motions, and hoping your times will improve. Off the race course is when the real work is done, and it involves building lots of muscle.
I continued my rowing career in college, where I looked forward to weight lifting with the varsity team. However, I was shocked to discover that not everyone shared the same sentiment. Over and over again, I heard the same alarming responses from young women of many different athletic backgrounds:
“I don’t want big shoulders; my dresses won’t look good anymore.”
“But I’ve been trying to lose weight, not gain any.”
“I don’t want to look buff or anything, girls shouldn’t look like that.”
“I’m afraid of my thighs getting too big.”
Women are constantly being told to follow a set of contradictions. It feels confusing at first, and then it just becomes exhausting — be confident, but don’t be bossy; smile more, but don’t be shallow and ditzy; be smart, but not a smart aleck; be tall and slender, but not taller than your boyfriend; look fit and trim, but not bony; have perfect poreless skin, but don’t overdo it with makeup; don’t dress up all the time because that’s trying too hard, but don’t act lazy and wear athletic clothes every day; let your hair down because it looks better, but God forbid anyone finds it shedding all over the place or blowing in people’s faces; don’t “act like a girl” because that’s weak, but make sure you don’t “act like a boy” because that’s not attractive. Be strong, just as long as you’re not too strong. Put in the effort to be athletic; just make sure you don’t look too athletic.
I am a female college athlete, and my response is a big, loud, confident "NO." I have made peace with my body by working out. It’s not about the results, or the calories, or what I see when I step in front of the mirror. It’s about freeing myself from the physical constraints of sitting still. The act of being athletic and pushing your body to the extent to which you are able is something every person in this world has a right to do. I will look, dress, and act however I want, and I encourage everyone — especially women — to do the same. It’s time to amend how we talk about bodies.
