Trust Me: How You Can Maintain A Healthy Relationship And Know When It's Time For You To Walk Away

Trust Me: How You Can Maintain A Healthy Relationship And Know When It's Time For You To Walk Away

Relationship advice from the chronically single

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Welcome back! If you read my last article, you already know that romance isn't my strong suit: my personal experience with it is minimal, and the last time I "dated" a guy was in 8th grade. And yes, I'm still chronically single and handing out free relationship advice. Even so, my friends still love to come to me for advice and according to them, I'm pretty good at it. So, while I still can't manage to listen to my own suggestions, hopefully, they work for you.

Step 3: The Honeymoon Phase

Last week, I gave you tips to become a master flirt and when to DTR (define the relationship). But what happens after that? If you're successful, you'll find yourself in The Honeymoon phase. In the beginning of every relationship, everyone is still wearing rose-colored glasses, and it's hard to see the flaws in your new love. For a brief moment, everything seems perfect. The old saying proves to be true, every time: if it seems too good to be true, it probably is. This is not to say that your new boo is not an amazing person! As fun as the Honeymoon phase is, it is equally important to remember that your significant other is only human: they will make mistakes, they do have flaws, and they will almost certainly make you mad.


A Song for when you're ready to take the rose-colored glasses off www.youtube.com

The true test of a relationship's strength is making it past the lovey-dovey honeymoon phase. Accepting your partner, flaws and all is the most important takeaway. The more comfortable you and your partner get with each other, the more honest your relationship can become.

Step 4: When Things Get Real

With honesty comes a whole new set of problems. Getting to know your partner is great, and clearly the goal of being in a relationship in the first place. While there are amazing benefits to relationships and many happy memories to be made, there is a specific issue that couples usually face.

Contrary to popular belief, opposites only attract to some extent. As society becomes more diverse, so do our relationships. Chances are, your partner is of a different, race, gender, religion, political standing, or even a combination of multiple factors. The way we all view the world (and relationships) varies. While you may expect good morning messages every day, your partner may feel they are a waste of time. This doesn't make your partner inconsiderate, but rather someone with different expectations and opinions about how a relationship should function. Differences in expectations can lead to a lot of arguments about communication, sex, and quality time. While most of these arguments can be resolved by effective communication, there are situations where you and your partner may be too different.

Step 5: Letting Go

You're not going to marry every person you date. While DTR can lead to exclusivity, it doesn't define longevity. Breakups happen and they are very common. Each breakup is different, and some are more traumatic than others. Whether you're the one doing the breaking up, or the one being broken up with, breakups suck. There are a lot of reasons to leave a relationship, and there are too many for me to go into detail. But, one of the biggest things that make breakups so hard is codependency.

Loving your partner and relying solely on your partner are very different things. When you find yourself constantly depending on your partner, it's time to take a step back. Think of it like a Venn Diagram: a healthy relationship should have a small amount of overlap. Relationships become toxic when one circle completely takes over the other. We all know how annoying and concerning it is when your friend seemingly disappears after getting into a relationship, so don't be that person. Remaining a complete individual separate from your partner can help soften the blow from a breakup, at least a little bit.

I've seen so many of my friends lose their self-confidence after a breakup and it hurts me to see. Rejection is not easy, especially when it is from someone you love. It is important to remember that you are more than your relationship status. It can be disheartening to feel like you've "failed" at love.

Take comfort knowing that you're not alone: whatever you're going through, there's bound to be at least one other person who's going through the same thing.

Hopefully, my advice helps. If not, here's a quote from my Mom that may give you more insight:

"If they were so great and it still ended this way, then imagine how much better the person who's meant for you will be." Cheesy, but effective. Thanks, Mom.

Whether you're single or taken, love is messy. Just remember that we are more than our relationship status.

Keep it cute.

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If You Don't Respect The Relationships Of Others, It's Clear That You Don't Respect Yourself Either

No person who is truly happy and confident would try to interfere with two people who are happy together.

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To women who knowingly make advances on men in committed relationships,

I understand. You want a relationship. It is simply human nature to crave love and wish to give love in return. However, what I don't understand is looking for love in a person who has already found love in someone else.

You see him being a gentleman and treating the woman he loves with the chivalry she deserves. You can tell how madly in love they are and you can't help but feel jealous, realizing that he has all of the qualities you look for in a man. You can't control your thoughts or feelings.

However, what you can control are your actions. When it comes to interfering with a relationship, you cannot just assume you will not be held accountable for the things you say and do in an attempt to tear two people apart. In a world of 7 billion people, there are no excuses to make advances toward someone in a relationship. None at all.

It does not matter if you've known the person for years. It does not matter if you've dated before, miss the connection you used to have, and are looking to reconnect. It does not matter if you're drunk. Save the heart-eyed emojis and "I love you"s for someone else.

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Flirting with someone fully aware of the fact that that person is in a relationship is flat out disrespectful to all parties involved and will result in one of two outcomes.

Maybe you will get the reaction you want and the man will go behind his girlfriend's back to be with you. Or, if he respects the woman he is with, he will be honest with her and cut you out of his life because of your lack of respect for the relationship.

If the man ends up betraying his girlfriend, you may think you won him over. While this may feel like a victory at first, karma will come back and bite you. It always does.

The way you win him is exactly how you will lose him. If he'll do it to her, he'll do it to you.

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Thankfully, there are men in the world who will stay loyal and refuse to let other women come between them and their significant other. However, the blatant disrespect on your part is still evident, even if the relationship is strong enough to remain unaffected by the drama you cause.

You might think that spilling your undying love to the man you've been crushing on is justified. However, if he is with another woman, it is best to keep those thoughts to yourself, especially if you have any type of friendship or basic respect for either person in the relationship.

Put yourself in the woman's shoes. Would you want another woman, especially an ex or friend, messaging the person you love flirty paragraphs of admiration? If you wouldn't want it sent to your significant other, do not send it to someone else's significant other. It's that simple.

The thing about boundaries is that once they're crossed, it is hard for things to ever go back to the way they were before. Once you show disrespect to a relationship, neither partner will trust you again. Are your impulsive texts worth ruining your reputation and potentially hurting others?

Respect boundaries. Respect others. Respect yourself.

Everyone deserves a happy relationship. If you really respect yourself, you will recognize that nothing healthy or loving can come out of another person's sadness and betrayal.

Sincerely,

The woman who wishes you could have been more considerate before hitting "send"

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