In the past, I've always wanted to be in a relationship for a number of reasons. It boosted my self-esteem, made me busier, the cuddling and attention, and of course the feeling of being "complete." I for one can honestly say, I was not emotionally stable or confident enough to be in a relationship and that's why all of them did not work out. It took me years to feel confident about myself and come to the conclusion that I'm the only one who can change me and make myself feel good. I had to love myself and be a completely WHOLE person inside and out.
How did I become a whole person? I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder in 2013. I took Effexor for a year for my depression and anxiety.. And after years of counseling, learning to think of myself and not rely on being in a relationship, and started focusing on myself, I did things for myself. I gave my heart to Jesus. I got baptized. I found a job that I liked and that made me feel important and I learned from others that relationships are a gift from God. Love is a gift from God. When I would finally fall in love, I would treat that person with all the respect in the world and complement that person with myself. We would be two people who love ourselves and each other.
A major issue with society now is that everyone wants someone to complete them. Like they are a "half" person and need someone else to make them feel good. I can tell you from my own experience that it only works well to an extent. Each person has to be confident. Each person should not rely on the other to make them feel good constantly. Healthy relationships take two people who are happy with themselves before they can be happy with another person.
You have to learn to love yourself before you love someone else.
Find someone who complements you, not completes you. That person should not only be happy with themselves, they have to complement your personality. And by the term complement. I'm referring to it as a verb that means to "add to (something) in a way that enhances or improves it; make perfect." So be with a person that complements you and your personality. That makes you a better person and brings out the best YOU.
And on a side note, learning to love yourself may take time, but you're never too old to fall in love. Find yourself. Practice Self-Love before you try to love someone else. Don't rely on another human being to make you feel happy. That person may make you happier, but shouldn't we all be happy with ourselves first? Shouldn't we learn to trust ourselves first? So we can be confident and love someone as a whole person instead of a half person.
