For our whole lives, we're told that one day we're going to find our soulmate, the person in the world that is made for them, that completes them. And it's a nice thought. Everyone wants someone in their lives that seems like a perfect fit into their lives.

The truth of the matter is, though, that no one out there is "made for you." There will be people in your life that complement you very well. There will be people with similar personalities or similar goals and aspirations and beliefs. There will be people that you love more than you thought was possible. But there isn't going to be someone who is perfectly tailored to complete who you are as a person.

The only person that is made for you, is you.

This isn't as pessimistic as it might sound. I'm not saying that there will never be someone that you're incredibly compatible with who makes your life better and brighter. I'm not trying to tell you that you won't ever find someone to spend forever with. I just mean to say that the only person in this world who can truly complete you and be absolutely everything you need, is you.

Whoever you end up with in the end, will hopefully make you happy and help your life flow easier. But there isn't going to be someone that you won't ever butt heads with. There will never be a marriage or a relationship that doesn't require compromise and work. You're going to end up disagreeing with that person. No matter how much you love someone, you're going to have to make the active choice day in and day out to be with them and work on your relationship with them. Because just like you're the only person made for you, they are the only person that is made for them.

Relationships should be about both partners growing separately but also as a couple. Our whole lives are about progress and growth and change. If we're constantly changing, then a byproduct of that is that our relationships are also always changing. This is where the work comes in; this is where the power of choice comes in. If you're growing into someone who is no longer compatible with your partner, or vice-versa, then you have to figure out whether or not you're going to choose to stay in that relationship.

There will never be a relationship that is worth sacrificing becoming the best version of yourself.

If the relationship that you're in is hindering you, if your partner is forcing you (purposefully or not) to give up being a better you for yourself, then that relationship and that partner aren't for you. Simultaneously, if you find that you're trying to prevent your partner from growing and evolving to be better in some way, then you aren't the right one for them.

This hindrance isn't always intentional, and it isn't always malicious either. One partner in the relationship changing means that the relationship is bound to change, and if the relationship can't handle that change the knee-jerk reaction is to try and stop the change from happening. But don't do that.

Let yourself change. Let your partner change. Let your relationship change. Let change happen even if it means loss.

Change is scary and it can mean leaving behind people and relationships that we don't want to. But ultimately we have to do what is best for ourselves and our partner has to do the same. We're the only one that is made for us. We can't sacrifice ourselves for the unattainable goal of being completed by someone else.

We are complete on our own. We have everything that we need inside ourselves already. You'll meet people who teach you how to be a better version of yourself and who help make you a happier version of yourself. But the idea that someone is going to be perfectly made for you and that the clouds will part and they will just be absolutely perfect for you in every way is unrealistic.

You're going to have to work at any relationship with anyone else, including yourself. But the only person who can complete you is you. The only person who is perfectly made for you is yourself. Learn to find comfort and joy in that.

You are a whole person on your own. You aren't inherently lacking without a partner. You are perfectly made for yourself in a way that no one else will be. That's power, and it's a power that only you have.