I spent my childhood days constantly comparing my future love life to Disney princesses and princes, imagining that my “Prince Charming” would see me from across the room and know that I was the one. I would look over at him. Our eyes would meet, and I too would know that he was the one, and we’d live happily ever after. I also imagined that one day, I’d pass out and my “Prince Charming” would kiss me and I’d be just like Snow White. But when you grow up and actually get into a relationship, you realize there really is no “Prince Charming,” and that love is far from those you see in movies, novels, and fairy tales.
I entered a generation that’s filled with love but too scared to show it. We fear tears and broken hearts and would rather turn away or pretend to be “hard,” rather than express the emotions bottled within us. We’re scared to make things work because — although we grew up with fairy tales — all we see are lonely hearts around us. What we fail to realize is that love is more than just a hopeless emotion causing us to occasionally make irrational decisions; it is really a choice. You can choose to make your love work or you can choose to watch it fall between your fingertips.
When I fell in love for the first time, I didn’t realize how much effort was necessary to make a relationship work. We fought over the silliest things, laughed about dumb phrases and just let the days go by — never really talking about or discussing the situations and words that bothered or upset us. We chose to go along with the changes our in lives — me choosing to go to school, him choosing to work — and acted as if these choices would not affect our relationship. We would pretend things were fine, but we communicated less and less and saw each other even less. We went day by day without each other, choosing to stay apart although we were “together.” After our break up, I realized how much work went into a relationship. I was forced to see how much communication, patience, and understanding was needed to make a relationship work for the best.
Love just happens. One day, you meet someone, and sometimes you just fall in love without meaning to. But once you realize it, what you do from there is your choice. It’s your choice to speak up, to try and make a relationship work, to stay or go. Sadly, these choices mean working towards those necessary ones that could either make or break a relationship.
Relationships are scary. One day you’re in love; the next day, you’re fighting over who said what to who first. Sometimes you need to step back and ask: “Do we want this to work? Are we willing to put in the work to make this work?” At the end of the day, you have to decide, between you and your partner, if you want to make this work. You think your relationship will be the special one like Cinderella and Prince Charming, one that requires no work? No, that's not true. That is a deluded lie. When you make that choice to work with one another, to be together and make it work, you enter a different level and step of your relationship. It may or may not work out, but at least if you two were to part, you wouldn’t be left with any regrets.
Choose wisely and work things out. Choose to speak up, say what you feel, even if it means getting turned down or a small disagreement. Choose to communicate. Love is more than an emotion; it is a choice, and your choice determines everything.
