I've Slowly Learned To Love Life Being Single, As Should Everyone Else

I've Slowly Learned To Love Life Being Single, As Should Everyone Else

Accepting that being single is better for me now then trying to be in a relationship

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For the longest time, I've had the idea that if I wasn't with someone I wouldn't be whole. That if I was with someone they might be able to fix a part of me that I haven't managed to fix on my own. I became so worried that I might end up alone, I've heard all the talks about my mindset. I'm far too young to think that, I still have a life to live, I still have time, etc. That is easier said than done with me being able to accept that especially with how I am.

I overthink way too much, had issues really accepting all of myself, and trying to figure out how to present myself to others in a way that made me seem "normal" or the ideal guy that people want to be with. I was worried about being with a girl so much that at times I wasn't honest with myself about whether I want to be single and focus on myself or be in a relationship at that point and time. Being me was difficult to navigate, and I've obviously learned a lot about myself, the people I want/don't want, my dreams, and the like.

Being able to grow and being a better version of myself each and every day holds very dear to me, and I forgot that sometimes doing that is more important than trying to force myself into something not meant for me or trying to be something I wasn't. That was the problem I wasn't 100% myself, but recently I've been starting to appreciate myself and all my quirks and whatnot, trying to love myself more each and every day. Realizing that I deserve better and that If certain people don't like 100% of my honest self and who I am then they don't deserve to be a part of my life.

I've learned to appreciate and love being single more ever since seeing this comedian named Daniel Sloss a while back, and him mentioning this analogy to life in the form of a jigsaw puzzle. The analogy boils down to this, in life we're all trying to form the picture we want for ourselves in terms of family, friends, etc., but like any jigsaw puzzle we start from the outside and work our way in since we also "lost" the box to what our jigsaw puzzle will look like. So we move around pieces as life goes on, catering to our needs and wants at the time figuring out what we want to do, who we want to be with/around, etc.

That with relationships especially, we try to fit in pieces to our jigsaw that we know doesn't quite fit, but we do our best to make it so because it's easier to accept being in a relationship instead of being true to yourself and someone loving all of you that includes quirks, faults, friends, family, dreams, interest, etc. We wish to be in a relationship so bad, that we sometimes forget that the purpose of being in one is being with someone that does love all of us, all aspects of our lives, friends and families. That being with someone not only means them loving us to their fullest but also making us better each and every day.

Being single isn't the end all be all of things, but it is a time for us to make sure we grow as individuals, to love ourselves to our fullest potential and realizing our self-worth when it comes to the people in our lives, what we want to do, and making sure we're with someone that loves all aspects of us and being able to fix ourselves first before jumping headfirst into something we're not prepared to manage.

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.
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Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs. In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm..

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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To The Big-Hearted Girls Who Just Can't Hit The Block Button

Your compassion for others knows no bounds, and that's why you can't seem to let them go.

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Not everyone is worthy of your good heart.

It might be hard to accept that, but it's true. The ones that don't deserve your attention and your care always out themselves. Maybe they take advantage of your kindness, maybe they use you for your love, or maybe they hurt you because they envy some aspect of you or your life. Whatever the case may be, I know you feel the pain from it. I know you are not naive enough to believe that they don't mean the hurtful things they say or that the awful things they put you through are only mere accidents.

Your problem is that you have too big of a heart. You love giving second chances and when they screw that chance up as well, you just can't help yourself from giving them a third, a fourth, or a fifth. Far too easily you are swept up in this cycle of forgiving and forgetting, only to have it blow up in your face time and time again.

You know better.

How many times have you sworn you wouldn't help them again, that it was the last time you'd speak to them, only to snatch up your phone the second you see their name pop up across the screen? How often have you cried over someone who only wanted to be a part of your life when they needed something from you?

Stop giving your all to people that don't care.

Trust me, I know it's easier said than done. It's a difficult habit to break, but once you do you are completely and utterly free from the toxicity. If you're looking for a sign to block that boy who has done nothing but break your heart, or if you were waiting for your cue to finally end that friendship that does nothing but make you feel small, here it is.

Unfortunately, not everyone is going to treat you with the love and respect that you so freely give. Most of the time the people that treat you like crap are just crappy people. It's not your responsibility to save every troubled soul, and you've probably learned by now that not all of them want to be saved.

There's nothing wrong with looking for the good in people, but when they start to drain you of your light you need to have the strength to let them go.

To the girls gifted with hearts too sensitive and ready to burst with compassion, it's OK to cut ties with those who hurt you time and time again. It doesn't mean you've stooped to their level; it doesn't mean you're a bad person. You tried your hardest, but toxic people rarely change their ways. You don't deserve that kind of pain.

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