Dating has become so different from what it was in our parent's time. Nowadays, there are dating "trends" and "relationship goals" that are leading couples into relationships with the wrong purpose and mindset.
This generation has twisted dating into something that is not real anymore. You "talk" and then within the blink of an eye, you and your almost partner are no longer "talking.” Part of this I believe has to do with our egos. Yes, egos. We don't communicate our feelings because we are afraid of being left or becoming too vulnerable. We don't like to be the one that got left but rather the one that got away.
We are afraid to be weak. We want to seem superior, like we are stronger and better than we actually are. The idea of bringing up feelings in a conversation or in a text seems overrated, and that is unhealthy. Communication in a relationship is key, and part of dating is taking chances. Taking chances on getting your heart broken and becoming vulnerable. If you cannot communicate feelings to a potential partner, it's never going to work out because no one is a mind reader, and you can't expect the other person to know everything that is going on in your head.
Not to mention, we should be picky with who we choose to date, and consider what you really want. Most people jump into relationships because of trends or the fact that being in a relationship makes them look good. I know many people who want to date solely because they want the physical benefits. That's unhealthy and dangerous. A relationship based on sex will not work out in the long run because there are far more important parts of a relationship that needs to be satisfied beforehand. Keep note, you shouldn't just date anyone and everyone that comes along; set high standards. High standards are seen as such negative things, but I truly think that if we all set high standards for each other, then both men and women will work harder to become better ladies and gentlemen. It makes both people work harder to meet the standards and, ultimately, makes both people work harder towards achieving a real relationship.
So I'm going to ask, why are you dating, or why do you desire to be in a relationship? Is it because you admire the idea of loving and being loved? If so, that is reasonable. Love is a big part of our lives, and it is a natural human need to want love and to love. But ultimately, you should be dating someone because you see them as a potential partner for the rest of your life, for marriage. You should be dating to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. I don't know why, but this generation has such a low view on marriage because it's not treasured or valued as much as it should be. Nowadays, unmarried couples just live together and have kids. Statistics have proven that unmarried couples who live together before marriage usually end up in a divorce later on when they do get married.
Another problem with dating nowadays is the ideas and unrealistic fantasies that social media and the entertainment department have fed our minds. A couple is NOT "relationship goals" because the boy bought the girl a $295 watch or a Victoria Secret's item. Dating has become so materialistic and it's heartbreaking to say that. Relationship goals should not be defined by materialism but defined by the achievement of bettering you and your partner during the relationship. The problem is also the fact that we try to mimic these unreal and crazy "relationship goals" that when we don't accomplish or receive them in a relationship, we leave.
You should be dating someone who respects you and wants to learn from you and with you and grow with you as a person. You should date someone who wants to know everything about you and falls in love with your naked soul, not just body. Fall in love with someone who inspires and supports you. Fall in love with a Godly man; I've heard somewhere that if a man falls in love with Jesus, it makes a difference in how he falls in love with you. If a man doesn't have a relationship with God, he won't know how to have a relationship with you because if he doesn't know God, he doesn't know real love.
"We love because He first loved us" - 1 John 4:19
