We all do it: take a look in the mirror on New Year’s Eve and our bloating bellies from too many Christmas cookies and wonder how on Earth we’ve let ourselves obtain a stomach that closely resembles Santa’s.

We look at ourselves (maybe even through a few tears,) and then we pledge to never have bread or sugar ever again.

We run, or maybe just slowly walk (because let’s face it, we are out of shape) to the gym and blow our money on a membership that we end up using eight times max over the course of the year. We eat healthy for a few weeks and then gradually, cheat meals become a daily routine. And by the time summer hits and bikinis are out, we’ve become an emotional basket case.

Merely thinking about laying on a beach causes fear and insecurity that almost seems paralyzing. You start googling ways to shed this weight off in two weeks; you become desperate for something to fix you.

I’ve been there. And in the midst of Weight Watchers, Whole30, gym memberships, paleo, 21 Day Fix and many other diets/workout routines…I’ve learned a few things that have enabled me to not feel completely like a whale when I’m wearing a bathing suit in public:

1. “Quick-fix” diets do not work

Anorexia isn’t worth it. Making yourself throw up isn’t worth it. Drinking a drink with cayenne pepper, lemon juice, and maple syrup isn’t worth it (Been there, done ALL of that.) It isn’t the healthy way to lose weight, and its effect is never lasting. Trade out fries for broccoli. Get a salad instead of a burger. Go for a walk instead of watching that thirty-fifth episode of Friends for the day. These are little things that help tremendously in the long run, but don’t make you feel like you can’t eat.

2. Put the soda down and grab a water

Water as a whole will just make you feel better. Get a cute water bottle and chug that h2o.

3. Have grace for yourself

Stop beating yourself up for not being 40 pounds down since Christmas or for eating that chocolate bar today. It is OKAY. Nothing good comes out of hating yourself for anything; Embrace yourself, accept yourself, love yourself. Don’t scold yourself for eating potato chips, but rather celebrate that you didn’t eat the whole bag of potato chips. Discipline yourself out of a place of love for your body…not because you hate everything about it.

4. Stop comparing yourself to everybody else

No matter how thin, they’re probably stressing out about some physical insecurity too. Just do you.

5. Be confident

I always thought self-confidence was something that came with weight loss — and I’m slowly beginning to realize that confidence only comes with taking the time to love every part of who you are. 30 pounds overweight? You wear that two piece and ROCK IT. Or if you wanna conceal your stomach stretch marks and are instead wearing a one piece, YOU ROCK ON TOO. In whatever you choose to wear, wear it with the mentality that you love who you are.

From the time I was about twelve, summer has always been the scariest time for me. I’ve wasted beach trip after beach trip centering every thought around my physical insecurities. I’m just now realizing that it was never my body I needed to get ready for swimsuit season…it was my mind.

So take off that body shame, put on a cute swimsuit and rock who you are at the beach/pool this summer.