Giving up control is probably the hardest thing most of us have to learn to do. The thought of handing the reigns of my life over to someone else or something else overwhelms me with utter anxiety. I like schedules, checklists, and planners. Highlighting, color-coding, and crossing things off fills me with joy. The idea of not doing these things sends me into a panic..but it's time to learn another way of living life.

I'm missing something between my 8 am Chemistry class and my 5 pm spin class. A deadline is not being met, although I submitted my paper before 11:59 pm and I completed my exam in time to hustle over to the library. I'm missing freedom, spontaneity, and plain old fun. Having complete control is not only impossible, it's exhausting. I spend so much time trying to gain and maintain control, I run myself low on energy, happiness, and contentment.

I have decided that it's time for a change. Time to start allowing life to run it's own course and carry me along the way. Because sometimes perfectly highlighted notes, a well managed schedule, and deadlines met, don't mean I'm living life to the fullest. From here on out I will surrender to what is, let go of what was, and have faith in what will be.