Looking Back On Your Demons
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Looking Back On Your Demons

Sometimes it is beneficial to look back and see how far you have come.

Looking Back On Your Demons

Sometimes looking back at your writing is how one can truly see how much they have grown.

Sometimes it is the way you see just how twisted your life has become.

The things you can discover about yourself due to reading old pieces can go from being incredibly inspiring to dreadfully sad.

The following piece is something I came across recently that I wrote about a year ago. Ironically enough, it is based off who I felt I was a year prior to writing it.

"A year ago, if asked if I loved every part of myself, I would have said yes.

It's amazing how things can change in a year.
In a year I've started to realize that I'm not as sure of myself as I thought.
I take note that I'm almost always emotional.
That I wear my heart on my sleeve.
I get panicked when someone seems annoyed at me.
My heart stops and I obsess over the smallest detail
until I finally get that reassurance proving no one is mad at me.
I realize that I really do not know what I am doing.
With my life, with my future..I don't see what I'm working for,
instead only seeing an empty abyss, and that scares me.
I notice that apparently, I do care what people think of me, to an extent.
I feel the anxiety creeping up into my mind and making its way through my body,
making me worry about certain actions or beliefs that I used to be so proud of.
I overanalyze and might make things a bigger deal than they really are.

A year ago I truly did not realize there was so much more of myself that I needed to work through.
Taking all of these things in has had its drawbacks.
I have my bad days and my great days with the occasional sob session.
However, one thing I have taken notice of immediately
is how grateful I am to have someone to count on.
Someone who takes all of my realizations in stride.
Makes me feel less insane.
Helps me accept that I'm okay.
Someone who inspires me to write after not feeling the drive to create anything for months.
Who doesn't judge me.
And I do realize that even though I may not completely like myself sometimes,
someone else does unconditionally,
and that makes it a little easier to handle."

Reading that piece now, I find myself somewhat proud.

A year ago, I was in a spot that scared me. I did not have it as bad as other people, but I was at the beginning of my own hardship.

At that time, I started to find myself going down that dark hole, staring into that abyss of confusion and worry.

But now, I actually do have an idea of where I am going and what I am doing.

I know what to expect in the next few months. For the past year, I have come to terms with my personal troubles, I have confronted some of my demons. Nothing is perfect, life always takes work and I know I still have things to work on.

But now, after a year of working towards getting better and working toward my own goals, I have exciting milestones to look forward to in life.

This shows that things really can get better. Things can seem pointless, lonely, sad. But as hard as it is, working towards new goals revolving around joy and happiness really do help.

It takes time, it is difficult and at times it really sucks.

But as cliche as it sounds, life does end up okay.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers


Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

5 Simple Ways To Give Yourself Grace, Especially When Life Gets Hard

Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we are becoming.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

If there's one thing I'm absolutely terrible at, it's giving myself grace. I'm easily my own worst critic in almost everything that I do. I'm a raging perfectionist, and I have unrealistic expectations for myself at times. I can remember simple errors I made years ago, and I still hold on to them. The biggest thing I'm trying to work on is giving myself grace. I've realized that when I don't give myself grace, I miss out on being human. Even more so, I've realized that in order to give grace to others, I need to learn how to give grace to myself, too. So often, we let perfection dominate our lives without even realizing it. I've decided to change that in my own life, and I hope you'll consider doing that, too. Grace begins with a simple awareness of who we are and who we're becoming. As you read through these five affirmations and ways to give yourself grace, I hope you'll take them in. Read them. Write them down. Think about them. Most of all, I hope you'll use them to encourage yourself and realize that you are never alone and you always have the power to change your story.

Keep Reading... Show less

Breaking Down The Beginning, Middle, And End of Netflix's Newest 'To All The Boys' Movie

Noah Centineo and Lana Condor are back with the third and final installment of the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series


Were all teenagers and twenty-somethings bingeing the latest "To All The Boys: Always and Forever" last night with all of their friends on their basement TV? Nope? Just me? Oh, how I doubt that.

I have been excited for this movie ever since I saw the NYC skyline in the trailer that was released earlier this year. I'm a sucker for any movie or TV show that takes place in the Big Apple.

Keep Reading... Show less

4 Ways To Own Your Story, Because Every Bit Of It Is Worth Celebrating

I hope that you don't let your current chapter stop you from pursuing the rest of your story.

Photo by Manny Moreno on Unsplash

Every single one of us has a story.

I don't say that to be cliché. I don't say that to give you a false sense of encouragement. I say that to be honest. I say that to be real.

Keep Reading... Show less
Politics and Activism

How Young Feminists Can Understand And Subvert The Internalized Male Gaze

Women's self-commodification, applied through oppression and permission, is an elusive yet sexist characteristic of a laissez-faire society, where women solely exist to be consumed. (P.S. justice for Megan Fox)

Paramount Pictures

Within various theories of social science and visual media, academics present the male gaze as a nebulous idea during their headache-inducing meta-discussions. However, the internalized male gaze is a reality, which is present to most people who identify as women. As we mature, we experience realizations of the perpetual male gaze.

Keep Reading... Show less

It's Important To Remind Yourself To Be Open-Minded And Embrace All Life Has To Offer

Why should you be open-minded when it is so easy to be close-minded?


Open-mindedness. It is something we all need a reminder of some days. Whether it's in regards to politics, religion, everyday life, or rarities in life, it is crucial to be open-minded. I want to encourage everyone to look at something with an unbiased and unfazed point of view. I oftentimes struggle with this myself.

Keep Reading... Show less

14 Last Minute Valentine's Day Gifts Your S.O. Will Love

If they love you, they're not going to care if you didn't get them some expensive diamond necklace or Rolex watch; they just want you.


Let me preface this by saying I am not a bad girlfriend.

I am simply a forgetful one.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

10 Helpful Tips For College Students Taking Online Courses This Semester

Here are several ways to easily pass an online course.

Photo by Vlada Karpovich on Pexels

With spring semester starting, many college students are looking to take courses for the semester. With the pandemic still ongoing, many students are likely looking for the option to take online courses.

Online courses at one time may have seemed like a last minute option for many students, but with the pandemic, they have become more necessary. Online courses can be very different from taking an on-campus course. You may be wondering what the best way to successfully complete an online course is. So, here are 10 helpful tips for any student who is planning on taking online courses this semester!

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments