As a young child, I was introduced to the concept of running. My mom ran marathons competitively as a young adult and always shared her passion for the sport amongst her three kids. As I grew older and played a variety of sports, it was obvious that I had (and still have) no hand-eye coordination. Because of this, I took up running with my middle school cross country team as a sixth grader. At that young of an age, I absolutely loved it. I loved running through the trails, hearing my family cheer me on from the sidelines and crossing the finish line. Running gave me a rush that was unexplainable. Spring soon came and I began running track. It was obvious that I was a distance runner, so the 800m and the mile became my thing. During my freshmen year, I endured an injury that took me out the entire season. Looking back, this was the turning point that made me start to not enjoy the sport I once loved.
I hated the sport for causing me this injury and I also hated myself for not being able to do what I did best. Through vigorous physical therapy, I was able to return back to running. However, I returned with limited abilities. I no longer was able to run the same times that I once had. Because of this, I had to work and train harder. I disliked the fact that I had to put more time and energy into running. When race time came around, I hated not getting times that showed improvement. I put so much pressure on myself to do well. My junior year of high school would be the last time I would ever run competitively. I finally was reaching the times I had been running before my injury which was an accomplishment for me. I ended the season on a good note. The stress that this sport brought me, caused me to not want to continue on anymore.
Reflecting on all of this, I can pinpoint why I no longer enjoy the sport I once loved. I no longer enjoy the sport because it felt like work. I no longer enjoyed it because I feel like I have to always be competitive. I would never wish this feeling on my worst enemy. Hating something you once loved and dedicated so much time to is heartbreaking. It’s hard to watch little kids participating in the sport because you can see your younger self in them.
Although I am saying I don’t enjoy the sport, it doesn’t mean I no longer run. I continue to run for the hope that I find that feeling I once had. I may not be participating at the level I once was, but when I do partake in the sport I once loved I feel hope that I may eventually love this sport once again.
