Anyone who has been in a relationship knows it takes a lot of work. Even with the person that makes you the happiest, it can have its tough moments. When you add distance to the mix, you add an even bigger challenge to a relationship. Long distance relationships take even more patience, even more courage, and even more trust. I know these things because I have been in a long-distance relationship for 23 years now.
I bet you’re wondering how that can even be possible since I am only 23 years old. I’m not talking about a relationship with an earthly man, I’m talking about the relationship I have with my heavenly Father. Even in a relationship with the One who gave His only son for me, the One who continues to forgive me when I sin, the One who knows me better than anyone else…. Yes, even with him, I struggle. I can’t see Him, I can’t hug Him, I can’t text Him whenever I want. All of these things make for a tremendous challenge.
This relationship, like any other, is a two-way street. The good news is that He is perfect. The bad news is that I am not. I constantly do things to strain the relationship I have with God and there always seems to be a third-party butting in. The enemy wants me to think that God is unfaithful to me, the enemy contorts the truth pointing out instances when God was silent, making it seem like God didn’t care about me; Or instances where God may not have answered my prayers the way I wanted Him to, making it seem like God does not love me-- because if He loved me He would have wanted me to be happy. The enemy whispers to me that I am not good enough for God’s unconditional love-- If I was then I’d always be happy because after all that’s what a good, strong relationship has, right? Happiness. And the worst part about this is that I listen to him, I believe if even for a second, that I am not capable of being loved by God. If I am allowing the enemy to intrude on my relationship with God, then it’s likely I’ll let him intrude on my Earthly relationships. If I believe that I am incapable of being loved by the unfailing God, then why would I believe that I was worth being loved by a man?
It’s true, sometimes God seems silent. A lot of the time, those quiet seasons are the ones when we think we need Him to speak the most. I have found that God’s silence, and my inability to understand it, becomes an even greater trial than the circumstances I am facing at the time. Actually, what I am describing is THE TRIAL OF FAITH. A trial of faith, when everything is said and done, is not a struggle over circumstances – the real struggle is not to make circumstances work out, or to make suffering end. The trial of faith has to do with what is going on between myself and God. I think most of us would just like God to come down and simply TELL US what to do in situations. We would accept ANY answer, as long as it came from God. Or maybe we’d like God to just prove He is there. In a trial of faith, the silence of God makes it seem like we are in a losing situation with no way out. And God seems indifferent.
Now, if you have encountered such a trial, and have gone through it in a blaze of glory, never having any doubts, and never facing any challenges, congratulations. But the real truth is, that any trial of faith is absolutely geared to bringing out the worst in us. Corinthians 5:7 says “Walk by faith not by sight.” If we aren’t presently seeking God and having faith in Him, the trial of our faith will bring questions, and will hit us right where we are weak – or at least hit us right where we have been passive and blind. Weakness in a relationship is common because we all have things we need to work on, but when we let our weaknesses define us that is when they become problematic. I have been there—letting my flaws and struggles become my weaknesses. I had a wonderful revelation that what I want most in an Earthly relationship can be found in my relationship with God. I want someone who loves me despite my flaws, who knows my weaknesses and encourages me and strengthens me to overcome them. Is that not what God can do? 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”
On another hand, I hate being rejected-- as I’m sure everyone else does, too. I cannot stand being told ‘no,’ and in some ways that is how I let my pride get the best of me. When God’s answer to our most heartfelt prayers is ‘no’ it can be very difficult to understand the reasoning behind His decision. There have been plenty of times when God’s answer was ‘no’ but instead of listening to him I convinced myself that He didn’t hear me well enough and did whatever I wanted, anyway. And then I was mad when things didn’t work out the way I thought they would. I probably ended up even more hurt than I would have been if I had just accepted His ‘no.’ In my revelation, I realized that God’s ‘no’ doesn’t always mean ‘no’ forever. Maybe it just means ‘not right now,’ and if He tells me ‘no’ I am confident that His ‘yes’ will be even better. Jeremiah 29:11 says, “For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord, ‘plans for well-being and not for trouble, to give you a future and a hope.”
My relationship with God should be my first priority, but sometimes I choose to put things before it. The greatest thing I know is that He is faithful to me even when I am unfaithful to Him. I am so grateful that He takes me back time and time again. I know that in order for my relationship to work, I need to have trust in Him and patience for what He has planned for my life. I know that even though I can’t run up and hug Him, or hold His hand, He is present. I know that no matter how many people He places in my life or takes out of my life, He is constant. I know that when I feel unwanted or unloved, He loves. Even now, when I feel like the last kid in gym class to get picked for dodgeball, I know the Almighty King picked me. "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations." (Jeremiah 1:5)
I have many things to work on, but with God all things are possible. He has already strengthened me so much. He has shown me what love is. I choose to put my relationship with God first. I choose to be in love with Him, and one day I know He will let the perfect man cut in. A man who has a relationship with God, and knows His love for himself. A man who will adore me despite my flaws, like God does. A man that will encourage and strengthen me despite my struggles, like God does. A man who will make me want to be a better person, like God does.
Until then, I choose to thrive in my long-distance relationship with God. He Lives, and He Loves. That’s more than I could ask for.
