I'm the girl who likes long bike rides in the summer. I'm the girl who sits by the window and looks out at the moon. I'm the girl who likes walking her dog around the neighborhood. I'm the girl who goes to school and gets all of her work done in a timely manner. I'm the girl who dances around her house to One Direction, while belting out every word of each song.
However, sometimes, I can't be that girl.
Living with serious chronic pain is not easy. It's not something that should be taken lightly. Often, people with chronic pain are left feeling hopeless with no answers or, in my case, too many answers. Doctors try their best to diagnose patients with chronic pain, but, at the end of the day, sometimes they don't have a clue. Guess what? It's not their fault. Sometimes, things happen. Eventually, we learn to deal with the pain and we create a new normal.
The funny thing about the "new normal" is that, to the average Joe, it's not really normal at all. We have to find a way to navigate this crazy, fast-paced world while dealing with pain that is physically, emotionally, and mentally taxing. More frequently than not, we are invisible. We don't discuss our pain or cry: "Poor me!" We just go about our lives like everybody else.
However, what many people don't see are the struggles that we face on a daily basis. We wake up each morning not knowing if we're going to be able to function. Chronic pain interferes with work, school, friends, family, and more. We are given different treatments to try to alleviate the pain. We try creams, pills, patches, injections, and even surgical intervention. Sometimes these are helpful, but when they fail, you wouldn't believe how disheartened we feel.
The majority of people don't understand the hardships that we endure, which leads to frustration. They see it as us being lazy or some crazy scam to obtain pain medication (which, if used properly, can be an effective method of treatment). We get accused of being addicted to the medication that we actually need in order to function. Do you really think we want to feel drowsy or "doped up" all the time? No. we don't. We want to be able to go back to work or school and be with our friends and family. The medication is not some sort of recreational "perk" of suffering from chronic pain. It's a way for us to go about our day without constantly having to cater to our intense discomfort. Coming from someone who has dealt with all of these accusations, I can tell you that it is extremely irritating. We are all obviously aware of the stigma that accompanies these medications that we take and we don't need anyone else remind us of it because, quite honestly, it's a bit insensitive. We know that, most of the time, these concerns come from a good place, but we still don't need to hear it all of the time.
All in all, chronic pain is not who I am. I am that boy band-obsessed girl who likes walking her dog, riding her bike, going to school and work, and dancing around my house. It's just that, sometimes, life gets in the way. When that happens, you just have to find a way to maneuver around the obstacles. I still make the most out of every day. My chronic pain has taught me one of the most important life lessons: appreciate a good day when you have one because it truly is the little things in life that make it so great. As I write this I my bed, propped up so as to not disturb my aching rib cage, I am looking at a beautiful moon in the sky and I thank God every day that I'm alive.
