This past Tuesday I had an anxiety attack. It was the worst one I have ever had. When it happened, it came to my realization about how hard it actually is living with anxiety. For anyone who suffers from anxiety, you know what it is like. You know how it makes you feel like you cannot breathe, how it feels like your heart is going to beat right out of your chest, and how it feels to be drowning in thoughts that you cannot even sort through.
Anxiety is not just stressing out about a test or feeling sad. It is always worrying, stressing, freaking out about who knows what. While I was having my anxiety attack I could not pin point exactly what it was that I was scared of or worried about, I thought I was fine. But all of a sudden I lost it. My whole world felt like it was crumbling and I had no idea why. The worst part of all of this was that I could not control it.
I am not sure how many of you are like me, but I like to be in control. I like to know exactly what is going to happen or how to handle a situation. But during anxiety attacks, I am unable to control anything. And that is the scariest part. To not be able to control how you feel or what is going on around you makes you feel as if you are worthless and as if you are alone.
Anxiety is a scary thing. You may know what's going on that is causing your anxiety attacks, but often times you are unaware. I cannot explain in the slightest what it is like living with anxiety, but I know there are many people out there who have anxiety and know how hard it is. They need to know they are not alone. As I sat in my dorm room Tuesday having an anxiety attack I felt as if I was alone. Granted I was the only one in my dorm, but as I struggled my way to class I felt as if I was a shell of myself. I knew I was walking to class, but I did not feel like myself. I felt lost, empty, and alone. My friends would pass and say hey, but I could not make out words. I know many people have probably experienced the same thing, but please know you are not alone. I am here with you and so is anyone else who struggle with anxiety. We are all here for each other.
I hope one day people will stop looking down on people who need help with their anxiety. I hope one day we are no longer judged for this. I hope one day no one has to live with anxiety.