“What are you so worried about?” A question I get asked all too often, and the answer is nothing yet everything all at the same time. I can’t recall my first panic attack, probably because I didn’t think much of it once it passed, then it happened over and over again. It starts with a small worry, maybe I sat too far from the door and feel trapped, maybe I'm thirsty therefore I decide I must be dehydrated and I will shortly faint. Then suddenly physical symptoms kick in, my stomach aches, I feel dizzy and my heart feels like its racing for the gold medal. I have to move, but I can’t- what if I get sick or faint? These symptoms provoke me to feel worse. Breathe. Doodle. Write. Do anything but focus on the panic. It's over, well until next time. I feel like I woke up one day and a piece of me was missing. The carefree, try anything part of me was gone. Now I avoided going places and doing things because of my anxiety. After seeing many doctors I was formally diagnosed with a Panic Disorder. I am a college student living with a panic disorder, but I know I am not alone. To all these who suffer from anxiety or a panic disorder these are a few things to remember:
1. Just because you think it doesn’t mean it's true.
As real as these thoughts and physical symptoms may seem to you, they aren’t real. Our bodies are trained with a fight or flight response. When we perceive something as a threat this response kicks in.
2. It’s okay to have good days, that doesn’t mean the sun is soon going to fall from the sky.
The good ole’ “waiting for the other shoe to drop” phenomenon is very real to sufferers of panic disorders or anxiety. We not only wait for the other shoe to drop but we wait for it to come untied, trip us and cause some serious harm. Good days can be few and far between for anxiety suffered so when you get a good one, enjoy it. Do something you love, enjoy your favorite meal because for once you aren’t sick with anxiety.
3. The attack will pass. In the moment you may feel like you simply can’t do this anymore.
The attacks are few and far between and you can’t live your life panic attack to panic attack. Those words have actually left my lips in my therapist's office. You are not alone and it will pass. You have survived every episode until now and you will survive everyone to come until you find more permanent relief.
4. Don't let others make you feel weak, they have no idea what it took for you to simply get out of bed that day.
It is an illness and just because it isn't seen on the sufferer's body shouldn't invalidate it. Although panic attacks make us feel weak, they are also a sign of strength and perseverance.
5. Find things that calm you or are fun for you.
Safe places or activities are key. Find a hobby. This is so important. Without hobbies or things that boost my self-esteem or keep me busy, I wouldn’t be moving in the right direction that I now feel I am. I have found that yoga, writing and coloring/ drawing are extremely effective. 5. Know that even when you feel it, you are not alone. So many factors play into why people develop these disorders, some is genetics, and sometimes it's just the things we’ve been exposed to in our lives. I deal with panic attacks daily, and I survive them daily. I will continue to survive them and so will you. Face your panic attacks, don't let them face you.
