Living with anxiety sucks. The overwhelming power it has to just swallow you whole has a major impact on daily life. Maybe it strikes you at random points in the day, or realistically, at night, right before bed. Just having that feeling of not being good enough, or being not only just two steps behind, but three, is one of the worst things in the world.
As of now, I have the feeling that I don't have enough money to pay for college or that I am not smart enough. It is washing over me like a drop of water within a waterfall on the tallest mountain, just waiting to reach the bottom. Only it never gets there because this waterfall is like an infinite black hole sucking all the life out of everything.
Anxiety is like one of those nightmares where someone is chasing you and you are running so slowly trying to get away, but you feel like you are stuck in a vortex. It is like you are drowning in the middle of the ocean and you can't see anything beyond the vastness of that hazy blue (like the beauty of a siren leering you in, only to kill you). In reality, anxiety is like not being able to see the outcome of life, or even for just that day. It just holds you back from seeing the future, making you think it will won't ever come. Whether you want to or not, it is always lurking around your shoulder, waiting for that perfect time to strike. To kill all the happiness and comfort you have. In just one split second, anxiety can make you go from comfortable to fearful, from happy to sad, from on top of the world to down in the dirt.
Organizing can help so much with this feeling. Sometimes it wont, but sometimes it will. If you are scared of not having money, find job openings that will fit in with your schedule. Save money. Heck, it could be just a penny at a time. A little bit goes a long way. It is hard to stay organized and on track. Trust me, I try. The train derails a bit, then it comes back because it knows the purpose of the tracks.
Dealing with organizing time for study is pretty much the same as sorting time for making money. Know your priorities. Classes, study, and work! Then you can watch Netflix and hang out with friends. Or you can even hang out with friends while studying! Group study could be very helpful.
Anxiety can turn into stress. Do not feel dumb for getting help. Do not feel useless. Trust me. I know that is hard to do when you have anxiety. When someone tells you to breathe and calm down, or not to cry, it makes you want to cry or freak out even more. Tell yourself you will succeed. Do not stress about the small things. Go at your own pace and own it!
