General Definition of Greek Life: Brotherhood and Sisterhood are founded on Leadership, Service, Respect, Responsibility, and Scholarship while helping to develop character and offer opportunities to its members in order to strive in the future.

When I started college, this is the definition I took with me as I tried to remove what I knew about Greeks and Greek Life from entertainment and media sources. Unfortunately for Freshman Me, I didn't have a positive experience that I hope most people have had or will have.

In the Greek Community, I am what's known as a GDI. For those of you who don't know, it's more or less an individual that isn't associated or affiliated with a Greek Organization but hangs around them, knows what's going on in the overall Greek Community, and (in my case) is always Pro-Greek Life (Note* This is not the full definition, this is one that is based on generalizations and personal placement). Being a GDI isn't necessarily a bad thing... though it's not the nicest to be called one. I am getting ahead of myself, this is not about how I've always been a GDI, this is how I fell into being one.

There were 3 Panhellenic Sororities on Campus of the University I was attending. Within the first 24 hours of being there, I knew all of their names and commenced doing research on what they stood for. At that time I was still reeling from the traumatic death of my first love as I searched for a purpose. I wanted to give back, to be part of an organization that stood for growth and leadership... I wanted to be there. I dived into their founding, why, whom, where, etc. I went into recruitment with as much detailed information that I could have about these sororities in order to make a decision on a fit. I wanted something that fit not only my personality but also my values. 2 of the 3 Sororities were what I was looking for in terms of service and whatnot. It helped that one of my roommates was in one of them. She and I discussed the pros and cons of joining Greek Life, her only complaint was the sometimes lengthy meetings.

I was elated. I wanted nothing more than to be a part of one of these organizations... so I went to recruitment, and in most cases for sorority recruitment, you bounce between the options available to get a sense of each sorority. I was the peculiar girl who had already done research and knew which ones I wanted to get to know better, but alas I was still excited and pleasant to meet each group of women. Though two of the sororities had met my needs, my sights were set on only one of them. I wanted to be a part of ONE sorority more than anything else. I heard nothing but excitement and interest from outside parties about how kind and cunning these individuals were, so you could image the anticipation I had when I got to interact with them.

The experience ended up being very discouraging.

The first time was a Welcome Weekend event in our Circle Drive. Organizations had set up booths and tables to talk to the prospective members (Freshmen) and get a feel for who would one day represent them. I bounced between the tables with Freshman enthusiasm and excitement at the possible adventures that awaited me but was floored when I saw them. See this sorority had embodied the entirety of what I wanted from a group, so when I sprinted towards their table, I had to remind myself to calm down, they were just people. The excitement faded quickly as not one individual at that table spoke to me. That's when I attempted to strike a conversation with one of them. The look on her face, disgust, that I could possibly stand before her and hold a conversation about her organization. The way she spoke to me, snooty, snarky, and crudely was unexpected and deafening. I was stunned, so I walked away.

I told myself that she was having a bad day... because at the time that was a better explanation for what had just happened than the fleeting thoughts floating in my head. I went through recruitment with this in mind, that sometimes we can't keep it together. Believe it or not, the sorority that did not fit (fully, they all technically follow a standard as sororities, but it was the one I hadn't prioritized) what I needed in a sorority, were the kindest to me. I didn't understand. I felt like I was standing in a movie and the A-Typical Hollywood version of a Sorority girl was making it seem like I didn't belong anywhere... but the problem with this was, she looked like me... not the Hollywood version. So there I was... 18... confused, conflicted, a little hurt. I wanted to be a part of an organization that stood for change, that wanted to see women uplifted, not run-down, but right then and there... I gave up on that.

The following September I decided that I wanted to start a group of individuals that would always feel welcome, could call it home, and know that I would always have their back. I coined them my "Freshman," and if that doesn't offer you insight... they were freshmen students. I was selective, but not as a "they need to be perfect" sort of way. The individuals that became my Freshman were searching for something, I could see it in their eyes. These individuals varied in gender identity, sexual identity, and life course. To this day I still support them, keep tabs on them, am proud of them, and ecstatic to watch them succeed. They may not see me anymore, they may not live in Michigan anymore, but they still matter to me. They were, in a way, how I coped with the individuals that made me feel unwelcomed. I encouraged them to join Greek Life, that it would help them with their life paths, and half of them did. During that time, the women hadn't changed in that sorority, but in my heart, I still wanted to join. Watching my own Freshman join just furthered that internal want. However, life sometimes gets in the way... such as needing the money to pay for school. I couldn't justify new membership fees over needing to pay for tuition, so I didn't.

My third year was void of those women. Exceptional individuals had taken over the sorority that I had wanted to join, and even my current roommate was a member. I was slightly envious that other women had better experiences, that they had joined and were happy, but I never faltered. I would tell people that I just didn't like being around that much estrogen (which is valid because there tends to be a lot of emotions flying when someone gets passionate about something). I had found a sort of home with a new fraternity that opened a chapter on our campus. I had the pleasure of watching them charter, seeing some of my Freshman (my children basically) join, watching my own partner join, and then becoming their Sweetheart. It has been an honor and privilege to be a part of their family. It has been an exceptional journey to encourage and watch the men and women of the fraternities and sororities on the campus flourish. I enjoyed it, I made some amazing friends this way. I can't say that I regret what had happened, sure I would have liked to experience it, but it was exciting to help out along the way regardless.

Let me be frank, Greek Life IS Important. I whole-heartedly believe that, and perhaps if my experience as a Freshman had gone differently, I would have joined then and there. I am Not okay with the negative connotations of being a GDI. Guess what? I do know a lot about your organizations, but it's because I care about them. I care about your members as people, and THEY are the ones that feel comfortable talking to me... I just get it, I get them. I am not a GDI by choice, and I still have pride, love, and admiration for the individuals that make up all of the NPHC, IFC, and CPA organizations on campus. You are all amazing. I will always support you, feel excited for you when you get a little, I will be your ally forever. During recruitment, I will express positive ways Greek Life has impacted people around me; I will squash stereotypes because let's be real... they're ridiculous; I will be Greek with you, but not really, because it matters to me as much as it matters to you.

With Love

The GDI and Fraternity Sweetheart