Having roommates is quite an adventure. For those who hit it off, having a roommate is like having a built-in best friend with you at all times. You share clothes, the couch, gossip, even the bathroom; there's no bond tighter! Unfortunately, that is not the roommate experience I had.
I feel a slight pang every time I see headlines like "50 Things You Say to Your Roommate," and "13 Signs You Might Be TOO Close With Your Roommate." These are the types of things I longed for in roommates. However, reality often pans out much differently than our expectations.
We started out as friends - we three strangers sharing a room - and it was fun. Along with our suitemates, we had the best time joking around, making 1am runs to Taco Bell, and ranting about that one person in class. At first, it was everything I'd wanted. I wish so badly that it had stayed that way.
Things changed. I can't pinpoint when or why, but all of a sudden, I was on the outside. And let me tell you, there's no worse experience than feeling unwelcome in your own home. Communication stopped. Invitations for dinner were no longer offered. I felt as though I had some terrible virus that demanded I be isolated and not contacted.
You see, when people don't talk about their problems, the problems just get worse; that's not rocket science. If there's an issue that you need to have resolved, then you have to say something about it, not huff and puff and hope that it magically corrects itself. To this day, I'm still not even sure exactly what I did to tick off my roommates, because they never once addressed me about the issues they had with me. All I know is that come spring semester, I was no longer wanted. You could cut the passive aggressiveness with a knife.
You want to know what happens when your roommates turn against you? You grow incredibly insecure. You dread going back to your room at night. You feel uncomfortable even asking who's buying the next pack of toilet paper, because you feel like an unwelcome nuisance. You move out with three weeks left in the semester because you're so miserable living with people who tear down all of your decorations in the common room and expect you to understand the "justice" in it.
No, I did not have the best first roommate experience, but I learned so much through it. The reality of having roommates is that you won't always be best friends, but if you know how to be upfront and talk through your issues, you can live happily and peaceably with each other.
I'm sorry our time living together wasn't the best. I'm sorry that we couldn't have the ideal roommate friendship. I'm sorry I left without saying anything because I didn't know how to talk to you anymore, and I felt like you wouldn't even care to listen. Truthfully, I know you were happy to see me gone.
When I see you in the hallway, I'll smile.
