Okay, this isn't something I would usually decide to share with the world. I'm about to get real personal, but I hope that people can find a way to relate and potentially be able to help someone understand that they are not alone.
A few years ago I was diagnosed with anxiety. Yeah, it sucks. And if you have it, you will know exactly what I am talking about. Living with anxiety is awful. Basically, everything you ever do is a big question mark. You are constantly at war with yourself. When I say that you are at war with yourself, it's like when you have the devil and angel on each side of your shoulders telling you what to do, constantly fighting with each other. You'll ALWAYS second guess yourself. Your main line is "what if?"
It may not look like there is anything going on, but your brain is actually very busy worrying about almost everything. What most people don't understand is that the simplest situations will actually have a large impact on a person with anxiety. Sure, the situation is probably very minor and you might be over reacting, bur your brain just keeps telling you it's a lot bigger of a deal than it actually is. People with anxiety tend to have the urgency of constant reassurance, someone telling them that it is going to be okay. Anxiety is a true mental illness and effects people greatly. Imagine what it would be like to have both.
Now, I was just recently diagnosed with depression. Yeah, this is a lot harder to tell people than it is to tell someone that you have anxiety. It's almost sometimes embarrassing. A lot of people just believe you're looking for attention when in all reality you are truly suffering from a severe mental illness. Living with depression is like an overwhelming sadness that is so great that you will start to feel nothing AT ALL. You tell yourself that you will get out of bed tomorrow, and you just don't. It's not because you don't want to it because you don't have the mentality to do so.
Motivation just isn't in your vocabulary. Depression can make you not only mentally ill but physically ill as well. Over the summer I struggled with many issues that caused me to fall deeper and deeper into and extreme sadness. I was sick almost every day, and bed was where you would find me if I wasn't at work. I would sleep an unhealthy amount. I suffered from severe headaches every day, and would rather be at home than be with my friends. This illness didn't just affect me but it also affected my family, and my friends.
If you are suffering from either, or both anxiety and depression, you are absolutely not alone. You need to seek help because I promise you it will get better when you receive the necessary help.
xoxo
