We are all guilty of trying to live vicariously through other people, whether it be a friend or celebrity. Let's face it; sometimes we are too lazy or nervous or unsure of how to go about a situation. You may have an idea one day to go explore a new country, but you may never find the time to. Maybe you want to put yourself out there, but you are feeling too shy to ask someone on a date. This is when friends and the people you know come in handy.
Now, I'm not saying you should use your friends as a medium to live your life in the shadow of your bedroom eating ice cream and flipping through channels. But every once in a while, it doesn't hurt to experience something through the lens of someone else. In fact, it can sometimes be educational or a source of inspiration.
I haven't personally had many moments where I felt like someone could live vicariously through me. I have had over a thousand moments where I felt like I was living through others. There are a number of situations when living vicariously can't and doesn't apply to anyone. Situations involving race, sexual orientation, or gender identity I feel can't be vicariously lived through but can serve to educate.
When we do want to live vicariously through someone else there are number of things we can do.
Ask an absurd amount of questions.
Sure this may get annoying if you drag it out too much, but you won't get anywhere unless you ask. When you're being vicarious, you have to ask questions. If your friend or someone you know went on a trip to the East Coast or Ireland, you'll want to know what it was like. The easiest way to find out is by asking them how the trip went. Then you can follow up with questions about what they saw, what they did, and who they met. The more specific the better, that way you'll get the full experience visually drawn in your head. As a bonus your friend will be glad you are so interested in their adventures.
Actively listen.
I feel like this is common sense human interaction, but often times we forget to listen to people when they share their experiences. If you want to get the most out of something you have to be fully engaged. In particular this is not only a curtsy to someone else, but a chance for you to learn from any potential mistakes made by someone else.
Let's say someone you know went on a date. At first things went well and suddenly the stories ends with pants on fire and a waiter with a broken nose.
Social media the crap out of it.
Social media is a powerful tool in many aspects. People post pictures, status updates, videos, etc. This is the best way to see something from the literal lens of someone else.
Scroll through your their feed and like some pictures, follow their hashtags to see if anyone else in the world posted pictures of something similar.
Personally when celebrities post something I feel like I'm basically there with them. OK, I might be exaggerating a bit, but there is a sense of perception that comes with it.
Try if for yourself.
This is probably the most important thing about living vicariously through someone. At some point, you have to do it yourself. It's nice to hear from someone how a trip went, or how they went on a date, or even how their experience with a classmate, professor, hair stylist, etc. was. But if you don't get the urge to do anything like what they do to create your own experience then you aren't vicariously living. You are intentionally hiding.
There are active ways to live vicariously through others. I will out myself by saying I do it all the time. It's my biggest crime in life, but I don't let my vicarious state stop me from having my own adventure to share with someone.
We are all guilty of this crime, so how about we do it right?
