If you have eyes, you’ve probably seen a teen movie. You know, the plot of “I love them but they don’t know I exist, even though I sit behind them in math class” or “I take off my glasses, now I’m hot” or “no one understands me, I'm going to go write an angsty diary passage”.
From John Hughes to John Green, teen movies have become the codebook for operating an ideal teen life. So today, lets try to turn this codebook into a simple-to-follow list, because no one has time for that book crap.
The Best Friend
Every teen movie has the best friend. Pretty In Pink has Duckie, Ferris Bueller’ Day Off has Cameron, The Princess Diaries has Lilly. Pretty much all you need is someone who will willingly go along with any antic or adventure. It helps if they are good with witty quips.
The Love Interest
So, for this one, find the most hopelessly attractive person in your school. They will, according to the teen movie codebook, either be the quarterback or head cheerleader. Keep your eyes on the angsty musican types too, because in rare cases they are the hot ticket. And keep your hopes up, She’s All That proved to us that even girls with glasses and paint on their overalls can date Freddie Prince Jr.
The Wardrobe
The ideal outfit can make or break your teen movie lifestyle. If you don’t get every stitch down to a T then who are you? All of your favorite movies had costume departments dressing them, but you only have your brain. So find your style and stick to it. Or go completely away from what has been your style, just like Sandy in Grease. Either way, love what you wear and others will love it too.
The Quirk
Every teen movie main character is a little…offbeat. It doesn’t matter what it is, from making your own clothes (Pretty In Pink) to sharing pants between a group of friends (The Sisterhood of The Traveling Pants). Anything that can make you a little different is what you’re gonna want here. Remember, no main character is ever ‘normal’.
Confidence
I know, I know, it’s such a cliché thing to put on this list, but think about it. John Bender without his oozing self-confidence is nothing. What would Ferris Bueller be without his swagger? This is a key component to living a successful teen movie lifestyle. You must be confident about every little thing, no matter how bad it really is.
The Adventure
Every good teen movie has some kind of adventure. It can be an adventure of emotional discovery or a really great road trip. So pick a place you want to go. It could be across the country or right down the street. Just grab your maps and some good friends and get on with it. Oh, and if you’re friends with a disgraced nuclear physicist be sure to take that opportunity to use his time machine.
Prom
The pivotal moment of all teen movies is the prom. Make sure you get in the sharpest tux around or the most elegant dress you’ve ever laid eyes on. Also, be sure to snag the gorgeous Love Interest as your date. And finally, be sure to dance your butt off to the hottest pop songs. But be ready to slow dance to something from your parents' day (probably Journey).
The Soundtrack
This is probably the most important part of any teen movie. The soundtrack can convey the whole story, plus it can totally help the band. I mean, the Breakfast Club put Simple minds on the map. So, find a great band to put on your own map, and maybe throw in something that’s a teen movie classic, like The Smiths, for good measure.
So that’s it, that’s all you need to make your live as great as any John Hughes film. So, toss out your Mean Girls DVD and close the Netflix tab with Say Anything, because your life is about to get as great as any teen movie.
