Reality struck around 10 p.m. Monday. I was sitting in my room packing up my stuff as my second year of college was coming to a close when I realized that my little brother was going to be graduating from high school in a month and will be starting his freshman year in the fall. In a couple of months, he'll be packing up his stuff to start a new journey of his own and I didn't know how to deal with it. I was going through an emotional roller-coaster ride.
I was excited, nervous, proud, and scared. I was excited that he was accepted to one of his top schools. I was nervous that he was about to jump start his life in less than four months. I was proud that despite the obstacles he faced in the last two years he managed to overcome them. Most importantly, I was scared that he was growing up.
I may not admit it to my brother as often as I should, but I do love him. I love him a lot. Even though we bicker, fight, argue and poke fun at each other he's my baby brother. I'm the big sister. I'm supposed to guide him through life. Being a big sister is a big responsibility and sure I could've done a better job throughout the years, but college is a big deal. I want to be there for him. I want to be the first person he'll call when he has questions. Questions like, if 8 am's were a good idea, they are definitely are not; how to pick the right roommate, use Facebook, actually let ME pick out your roommate; how he can balance a social and an academic life, parties are great, but homework should always come first; and how to talk to college girls. I want to be there when he's panicking about his first finals week. I didn't have someone who was there for me. I've made plenty of mistakes my first year and I just want to protect him from that. However, I know need to let him make his own mistakes so he can learn and grow from them, but I want to lessen the blow as best and as often as I can.
I just want the best for him. I want him to have fun, to meet his "forever" friends, to find love, and be the best he can be. College is truly an amazing opportunity that not everyone gets to have and we're fortunate enough to be attending our top university choices. I want him to take advantages of this experience and I want him to live his life to the fullest.
I will be cheering from the sidelines and coaching you to the finish line, little brother.
