Imagine a culture where speaking about food was considered unnatural. In that world, it would be cumbersome to say simple things like "I'm hungry," "I don't feel like eating anything right now," or "I like corn dogs just as much as I enjoy tacos." Both eating and f*cking are biologically as well as physiologically important, but one of these topics is discussed far more frequently than the other.
The evident truth is that sex is just as appetizing as food, but our society renders it taboo to discuss sex outside of the bedroom even though we can talk about food beyond the kitchen.
The first time you tried curry, did anyone remark, "Congrats, man, you finally lost your Indian food virginity"? Did you actually lose anything, or did you gain a broader appreciation for your own palate?
When you took indulged in a creamy cup of ice cream during lunch, did anyone scold you for not waiting until after dinner the way some people are scorned for not saving sex until marriage? If it's normal to ask your waiter for the center of your steak to be tender, why is it so uncomfortable to ask your partner for rough (or gentle) sex?
Sex is an everyday part of life. There should be no stigma attached to any aspect of sex so long as consent and safety apply. No one shames people for sampling a variety of different foods, but people with "large" numbers of sexual partners face judgement. No one considers the girl with diverse taste in cuisine a food slut, but everyone knows that the guy who slept with a lot women over spring break is sleazy.
The more sex -- a normal part of life -- is stigmatized, the more shame and confusion apply to the subject. The harder it becomes for people to admit what feels good and what doesn't. The more we equate unrelated concepts such as one's number of sexual partners with self-worth. The more we feel embarrassed by our own bodies and desires.
If food was as taboo as sex, how would people talk about food safety? How would anyone know how to prevent food-borne illnesses like salmonella? How could anyone have the confidence to improve a recipe or discuss what flavor combinations work well? When we finally stop acting like sex is abnormal, we will have greater access to information, safety, and even pleasure.
Let's begin to have open conversations with our partners and mates about sex and sexuality. Let's teach our friends and communities about ways to engage in better, hotter, safer sex. Let's embrace our bodies -- responsibly, of course.
To close, I'll say this. I like sex the way I like my sushi: raw, spicy, and with my boyfriend.
