Second Tier Life Skills

Every once in a blue moon, I have a stroke of genius. An epiphany, if you will. Obviously, I have to note the occasion when that happens. Which, brings us here.

There's a set of skills, not completely necessary to survival, but necessary to avoid otherwise inevitable embarrassment--second tier life skills. I'm not talking about table manners, or being able to do the box step. And they're not an all-of-nothing deal either. I don't think you have to possess all of them, nor do you have to be a master in these fields. But seeing as this is my brain-child, I can say with certainty that it best to have a basic grasp of the majority.

You're probably completely lost. I don't blame you. Let me explain with some examples.

Ice skating: It's Christmas in New York. You're doing a little shopping in Soho when the dime of your dreams offers to pay for your aggressively over-priced latte. They make a flirty joke, you laugh, and next thing you know they're asking you out. Ice skating at Rockefeller. You swoon, only to come to as you have a sobering realization. You can't skate. If you decline, your dream winter romance ruined before it even began. If you agree, you're going to be that b!tch that has to hold onto the side of the rink? How could you have avoided this issue all together? Second tier life skill number one, learning how to ice skate.

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Using chopsticks: Let's look another scenario: You get a fancy-schmancy dinner invite from your partner's parents. They suggest a boujee Japanese place. What a delight. You arrive, only to your chagrin there's only chopsticks. What are you going to do, pull out your portable fork? NO. You weirdo. Learn how to use chopsticks. Nobu says thanks in advance.

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Making eye contact: STOP ROLLING YOUR EYES I'M SERIOUS. No one likes a submissive little mouse. Look into that strangers' eyes. Eye contact can be such a power move and one of the easiest ways to show (or fake) a lil' confidence. Start looking at people, and if you're feeling crazy, maybe shoot 'em a smile. It will get you places.

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Golfing: You applied for a mind-numbingly boring, but extremely lucrative position, at stuffy law firm. You kill the first interview (obviously). The recruiter wants to take you out to golf as the last step before they hire you. Only problem is, you don't know your driver from your putter. You're stuck in the sand traps the entire time. Kiss goodbye that financially stable job.

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Playing a musical instrument: Alright calm down I'm not saying you have to be able to play at Carnegie Melon. I'm saying pick an instrument. Learn a few chords. Learn a song. Just something for the talent show. No one likes the person around the campfire that has nothing to contribute. You wouldn't believe the amount of doors you open by being able to play Heart and Soul…

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Avoid the faceplates, awkward sighs, and uncomfortable stares by picking up a few second tier life skills. Your dignity will thank you later!