A little over a year ago I was hired in the emergency room of one of the top hospitals in the country and, to put it plainly, I’ve seen a lot of people die. I’ve done CPR on eighteen year olds and eighty year olds, taking over for the human heart with my own hands. I’ve seen the tragedies of people who knew they were going and the people who woke up that morning having no idea it was their last. I have watched death favor too many, to the point where I thought I’d certainly sworn off the ER and vowed to leave the words “time of death” for television instead of my own reality.

There are days I go home, strip off my scrubs, pray my shower washes off the day and whatever I took home with it, and succumb to the darkness that is death. Sometimes it’s hard to see the miracles behind the work we do in medicine; but I assure you, there are miracles here. Helping save someone’s life is the most rewarding experience in the world. But there are great lessons to be learned if you look past the sadness and pay attention. These are some of the best I’ve got so far:

1. A job is just that-a job.

In a world where there is a lot of emphasis on getting a job right out of college, moving out of your parents house ASAP and making a six figure salary, remember the expression: “Work to live, don’t live to work.” Making enough money to be comfortable is important. But take your vacation days and have enough time for play. None of my patients, dying or not, have ever told me they looked back and wish they worked more.

2. A “Thank You” goes a long way.

If you know me well, you know that if a guy doesn’t say “thank you” to the server on a first date with me, there will for sure not be a second. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people don’t thank waitresses or retail workers, or basically anyone that hands you something you asked for. Obviously the ER isn’t a restaurant or a store, but when you go to an ER you are being given a service (and food if the doctor approves).

Hearing a patient or their family thank us is one of the best things to hear. Between the long twelve and a half hour days on our feet, short lunch break, and running around caring for everyone at once, feeling appreciated for the work we’re doing really can turn a shift around for the better. Seriously. It makes everything seem a little more bearable. Not to mention it can give a little pep in our step and that extra push to work even harder. I always make sure to thank everyone I can, hoping I can give them that extra boost, too.

3. There’s always a bigger picture

Or, as I like to call it “It could be worse.” It’s easy to get caught up in everyday stress: the guy who isn’t texting you back, the fight you just got into with your best friend, paying rent on time, etc. But is your arm falling off? Are you having a heart attack? Did you just find a massive lump in your neck? If you answered no, then maybe you’re doing better than you thought. The bigger picture is that life’s little dramas aren’t the end of the world, even when they seem like it. It could always be worse, a lot worse.

4. Life is short

I know, I know, this is really cliche. There’s one case, however, that will never leave me; the case of a family who thought they had more time. A man came to us after his wife called 911 when she heard her husband screaming that his head was on fire while doing laundry. He had been diagnosed with a brain tumor a year before that, thankfully up until this day, hadn't had much affect on his every day life. By the time he got to the ER, he was unable to speak. His brain tumor had suddenly progressed to its end stage with no warning. He passed away a day later.

Before we took him from the ER up to a hospice unit, the wife looked at me and said, “We knew he was going to die. But we thought we’d see it. We thought we’d have a sign. We thought we had more time.”

There’s a quote out there that has resonated with me since I then and that’s, “The funny thing is, you think you have time.” So hug the people you care about, tell them you love them, climb the mountains, see the sights, do the things in life your heart is longing for; because having all the time in the world still isn’t enough when it can be taken from you just like that.