I just wrapped up week eight of my spring quarter. Most of my friends are already on summer break, and I am beyond eager to come home and not have really any responsibilities. Overall, this quarter has been fantastic; easily the best out of the entire year. But with three more weeks left in my college town, I am so stressed out about midterms, finals, and just about everything else in between.
Lately, I feel like nothing has been going my way. I’m not doing as well as I’d like in my favorite class, I really don’t know what I’m going to end up doing the rest of my life, and honestly, I’ve never had more stuff to take care of than I do right now. Some days are better than others, but on bad days, I feel like I can’t do anything more than lay in my bed and watch “Grey’s Anatomy”.
Days like those? It’s hard not to give up. It’s super discouraging for me to study for a class that, no matter what I do, it seems like I will never be satisfied with my grade. It’s frustrating when everyone around me seems so incredibly content with where they are and what they are doing while I feel stuck in a rut- just spinning in circles. It’s my first year at college, and I’m still trying to figure things out…even with a month left in the year.
It. Is. So. Tempting. To. Give. Up. It’s unbelievable. I know giving up is simply not an option, but the amount of times I’ve thought about just throwing in the towel is ridiculous- especially because I’m not really the type of person who gives up right away. On top of this, it feels like I’m totally alone. People get mad if I talk about it, but even more mad if I don’t, so this late into the year I’m about ready to call it quits. Maybe I am not cut out to be *insert dream job here*.
But I know that is just me being scared. I’m scared of what is going to happen in the future, and all of that is translating into frustration. Times like these, I try to remember that if your dreams do not scare you, then they are not big enough. I know right now that I’m not necessarily happy, but if I continue to work as hard as I possibly can, all of this will pay off and my struggles now will be totally worth it.
With that being said, you should not put yourself through something that truly makes you unhappy. If you are unhappy with where you are at, join new organizations, and meet new people! Don’t be afraid to get out of your comfort zone. If it is the environment that you are in, change it. The only thing that should be holding yourself back is…well, you. But not even that should be an excuse.
Bottom line: life is meant to be enjoyed; try your hardest at all times, and know that everything will pay off in the end. And if nothing changes itself? Change it yourself.
