It's not all lollipops and gumdrops when you have to take a shot for them. This is my life. Twenty-four hours, seven days a week. Taking a shot to stay alive. I didn’t pick this disease, I didn’t ask for my pancreas to just check out of my body. I don’t understand why the prices of the thing that keeps me kicking, is getting more and more expensive.

Taken from a PBS news report, between 2002-2013 the cost of insulin went from $231 to $736 without insurance. Most diabetics get a short acting insulin and a long acting. A diabetic without insurance has to spend close to $1,500 a month. I have insurance, which makes it a little less, but it still is a $100-$300 trip to the pharmacy. Now, it’s understandable that those researching insulin should get paid. I don’t doubt that. My problem is, is if they are spending all this money making the insulin, why aren’t they trying to find a cure faster? “But they are finding a cure, Morgan!” Really? Are they? Try telling that to the rising prices of insulin.

Now this is supposed to be me telling the reader what it’s like to be a diabetic. I intend to do so. Let’s go over the definition and the most common question I have ever been asked. According to the Center of Disease Control diabetes is, “Diabetes is the condition in which the body does not properly process food for use as energy. Most of the food we eat is turned into glucose, or sugar, for our bodies to use for energy.” In normal human words, the body starts to attack the pancreas causing the blood sugar levels to elevate. The only way to get the blood sugar down is a translucent fluid called insulin. Inject that into a fatty part of the body and boom, all good. The top, most asked question is, what the difference is between type 1 and type 2 diabetes. Type 1 usually shows itself in the younger years of someone’s life, but has been known to impact those in their older years. Type 2 diabetes has been known to come up in someone who is overweight. That’s not always true. Type 2 diabetes is when the body has a resistance to insulin. Also, type 2 has the ability to go away, type 1 diabetics aren’t so lucky.Every single day is wake up, check blood sugar and take a shot. Lunch time, check blood sugar and take a shot. Dinner time, check blood sugar and take a shot. Bed time, check blood sugar and take a shot. It’s an annoying process but has to be done.

Every diabetic goes through highs and lows, and no, I’m not talking about emotional. Each experience of high and low blood sugars are different. Personally high blood sugars cause my skin to go red on my cheeks and chest. I become very lethargic and thirsty. Also, my temper is always on edge. When I go through low, which isn’t often, I get very loopy (for lack of a better word). Act almost drunk. My body starts to shake, my heart rate increases, and I go very pale. There are more extreme cases where diabetics get violently sick when having a high or low. Most of us diabetics are accepting that we might die from this disease. That if we slip up badly, that might be our last mistake. It sounds dramatic, but there’s truth behind it.

I remember once I was told by a student to “get over” my diabetes. He didn’t know how much I wish I could just “get over” it. How much I wish every day I could not take a shot for my dinner. How much I wish I could drink water without having to go to the bathroom a half hour later. How much I wish that I wasn’t labeled as a disability. It makes me feel so different. I’m aware that being disabled is normal now, that billions of people are disabled in some way or another. I understand some have it much worse than I do. I don’t want to be disabled though, I want to be me.

I never wanted this disease. I never wanted to dependant on a clear fluid in a bottle. I never wanted to take a shot every single day. I want to eat without having to wonder how much insulin I’ll have to take this time. I don’t want to have to worry if my blood sugar will dip overnight. I don’t want to have to hid in a bathroom to take a shot because some people get uncomfortable around needles.

As much as I hate having diabetes, it’s what I have. It’s become a part of my life whether I love it or not. That being said, it’s becoming harder and harder for diabetics like me to get the resources I need. That the prices of insulin are outrageous for how much they aren’t doing to find a cure. There are studies about making an artificial womb, literally making a whole new body with organs and bones. Why is that? I’ll admit, I’m not a scientist, I don’t know what is going on in the labs. It’s just so frustrating that diabetics are paying more and more for something that’s keeping us alive. Once again, diabetics never asked for this disease.