We all know the feeling of when life throws the worst our way, the feeling of being lost, confusion and frustration. We also know the all too well internal battles that each of us face every once in awhile. For the longest I encountered these feelings like most people do but I didn't understand how to handle these feelings. I didn't grow up in a super religious home or go to church every Sunday but I was familiar with Christ. I had been through this cycle of denial and acceptance of Christ for a couple of years unsure of my feelings. No matter how much I pushed it down I had a feeling that some greater power could hear my prayers. Then I found my way towards christ.
Once I put my feelings aside and came out of the thoughts that put up the wall causing me to doubt the feelings I had towards what I knew I truly felt deep down I noticed a difference in the way I lived daily life. I came to the realization that in order for me to see change in the areas of my life that I struggled with I had to give my life over to Christ. I had to accept him and let go of my life because the more I tried to get things to go in the direction I wanted the more stressed I became. Until I finally understood that most things in life are out of my control. Not too soon after I learned the power of prayer. One day I felt as if something hit me of how I was going about situations and all the things causing me to stress all wrong, I was doing it all without Christ. After I gave my life to Christ and committed to growing a relationship I noticed how a few parts of life changed.
The way that I walked through everyday life and the way I carried myself was the first difference I noticed. Before I would get irritated easily, stressed, isolate myself and feel cranky. I didn't have the most positive attitude or look for the bright side. After finding Christ I looked at my situations in a different light. Rather than dwell on things that didn't go as planned I turned over a new leaf and hoped for the best in whatever was next to come. I expected new opportunities and greatness as long as I was putting in the effort and listening to the voice of God. I had a sudden smile even when things weren't the best and continue to carry a positive attitude.
Another change I noticed was how much joy I felt. There was suddenly an overwhelming amount of joy that came over me. It wasn't like happiness where it lasted for a just a moment before disappearing. The feeling of joy was permanent and brought me to the realization that the materialistic things in life I thought were important weren't. I felt as of my priorities straightened up with Christ above all. I knew that there was nothing that would be able to make me happy. All I needed was the love of Christ wrapped around me, nothing else seemed important.
One of the last things I noticed was how important it is to love on others, accept everyone and become as selfless as possible. None of these came overnight, it took spending time with Christ, patience, understanding how he speaks,and being able to realize when he has created change in your life. It's definitely nothing that can be forced rather a choice, I’m just forever grateful that I was able to make the choice that changed the way I see things and live life.
