This is something I never talk about and, quite frankly, never even think about discussing.

I am the youngest of three girls and, as the youngest, you know that it is your duty to be the comic relief and the "easy one."  No matter what age you are, you’re always the baby, too naïve to be informed. This societal placement also carries into my group of friends. Everyone knows me as the person taking on life for all it has to offer, always the happy one. Although completely true, everyone has something that sculpts his or her life into the unique, complex masterpiece that it is.

There is something that needs to be shared. It has been 13 years since my father committed suicide, and I think it’s time to discuss a topic that should never be left in the dark.

Over the years, I have known large numbers of people with mental illnesses, and it’s always this awkward topic that nobody talks about. I remember going to therapy in middle school and feeling like a complete and total freak show. In our society, if your life isn’t perfect then everyone’s going to judge you for all of your flaws. Well, let me tell you something. In all of my years, there have been times when I have tried to be something that I’m not just so that people will accept me, but I’ve learned that trying to be something you’re not gets you absolutely nowhere.  People will still judge you, no matter what front you put on. If you are a loser, people will bully you. If you’re too cool, someone’s going to be jealous -- and they’re still going to bully you.

So, I’m going to share quite a bit of information because I’m tired of caring what people think.    

Mental illness should not be something to be ashamed of. The number of your friends who take mood stabilizers and anti-depression medication is a lot higher than you know. If people talked about how they really felt, and acted how they truly wanted to, then the suicide statistics would not be as high as they are today. My father, being bipolar, ADD, OCD and an abnormally anxious person, would be dubbed as a societal outcast. Why? Because his brain did not function the same way a “normal” human’s would. But, what is normal these days? About one in every four people has mental illness. So why do we keep calling it normal?            

I have never talked about this subject in depth because I never wanted to be labeled as the girl with “daddy issues.”  What I’ve come to realize, with age and maturity, is that I have a million labels, so what’s one more. I could proceed in life with only having a few people know this about me, or I could share my knowledge and encourage other people to do the same. There’s a reason why an organization called, Out Of The Darkness, exists. Nobody talks about what they are actually thinking, and they can become so consumed by their own mind, that it just drives them to complete madness.         

Which is why I’m sitting here, on August 10, writing about an event that occurred exactly 13 years ago, today, that will continue to impact me for the rest of my life.

People who commit suicide do it in two ways -- either very impulsively, or premeditated. My father's written note actually had the date crossed out three times, indicating that he thought about it for the entire summer. But, I’m not writing this as a way of telling you about my story because this is an extremely shortened version.  Rather, I’m writing this to encourage you to gain knowledge for yourself so you can be there for others. You have no idea what other people are going through and if you are better educated on this topic then you could be the reason that someone wakes up another day.  

For example, George Orley was the happiest human I have ever met in my life.  The only time I was ever remotely mad at him was when I played Cranbrook in tennis and he cheered for his home school. The kid could brighten up a room just with his face-crinkling smile and that goofy little giggle. But, unless you knew George extremely well, you had no idea that George was going to take his life almost a year ago today.

It is natural for your first thoughts to be, "how could they do this to me? They seemed so happy!"  Everyone believes suicide to be this selfish act, but the intention of a suicide victim is that by taking his or her life they will make the world a better place and everyone will be happier without them. It is a completely selfless act, if you ask me, but completely wrong. Suicide is never the answer. 

This is all happening at the same time as one of the world’s most beloved comedians, Robin Williams, took his life. This is proof that for these three people, no amount of money, fame, looks, power, etc., could ever change a person’s mental stability. What can change, though, is reaching out and being there for those who need you. I know this is small, but every time I hang up the phone or leave someone close to me I always say I love you more than I need to. My sisters tell me I use it too much, causing it to lose importance. From my perspective, people need to hear it and everyone needs to know they are loved. You can’t turn back time, but you can change the future. You can change someone’s life.

Find out more by visiting  AFSP, Psych Central, or  NAMI.  AFSP has a link of walks that are found near campuses near you, including the walk on September 13 at Michigan State. If you're busy that day, there are a number of other walks in areas all around the country. I encourage you to visit these websites and find out more. You have absolutely nothing to lose by doing so, and everything to gain.