It's a deep desire instilled in our hearts from the very beginning. Whether it comes to a relationship with a significant other or a friend, we want to be able to share our secrets. We want to be able to light the corners of our hearts that we purposely try to keep dark on a normal day so no one can see. We want to be able to get rid of our hurt and talk it out with someone else. We want to get sound advice from an objective mind without being judged in the process.

But that's what gets us every single time. We want these things, but we fear rejection. We fear that judgment will rain down on us if we ever let even the flame of a match light a small portion of the dark corners. We fear that admitting to the downfalls and shortcomings that we seem to have will cause us to look different in the eyes of someone else. We're afraid that letting someone else look under the bed for the monsters you've already come to know will scare other people away who haven't. As we begin opening the door to let people in, we constantly judge how they're taking in the information. If they seem to start judging what they're seeing, we quickly slam the door shut, lock and key, letting no one else in as hard as they may knock. We've undoubtedly built walls around our hearts, trusting no one with what's inside.

Then someone comes along. They knock and knock and knock, never growing tired. They might halt briefly when you tell them to go away before they begin knocking again, this time more delicately. No matter how many walls you put up or how many locks you put on the door, they always try to find a way in. You don't realize that they aren't trying to get in to get a peek at what's lurking in the corners -- they're trying to get in because they're worried that you're in there with it. They want to help you out.

This proof of consistency and loyalty to you is enough for you. You finally spill, open the door and flip on all the lights so everything can be seen. They take in the surroundings, walk up to you, and lead you out the door. Even after seeing all your downfalls and seeing the full truth, their opinion does not change. You're free from what was holding you captive. You feel a huge weight off your shoulders. You're liberated. And while you're stepping out, they keep repeating,"You are not those things. They do not define you. I love you no matter what." There were no conditions. You didn't have to give them a trade-off. Suddenly, the relationship is that much sweeter.

Find these people in your life. Find the people who aren't searching for your downfalls just to judge them or to run off and tell everyone else. Find the people who lead you out of your dark places without a comment on why you were there unless you're willing to tell. Find the people who love you even more after seeing the flaws, the pain, the scars. Find the people who would never leave you in that dark place. Find the people who love fully, unconditionally, and irrevocably. Find the people who are consistent, loyal, and silent to the grave about what they know. Find the people who give you grace upon grace, even when you know you don't deserve it. These are the people that you know love you beyond a doubt.

Don't find the people who only know you or only love you. Find the people who do both and do it to the fullest.

You'll find yourself free in no time.