One of the hardest things in life for a perfectionist to do is hear someone say to just "let it go." Now that I have successfully gotten the "Frozen" song stuck in your head, let's talk about the struggle that is perfectionism. This is something that I have personally struggled with for as long as I can remember and something that has slowly been destroying me. I am constantly wanting to please everyone around me, get perfect grades, be the perfect Christian, achieve all the hopes and dreams that I could possibly have, and plan out the rest of my life and follow that plan flawlessly. One thing thing I have learned: it's impossible.
Perfectionism wears a person out. It's tiring to be and do everything for everyone and be all that you hope to be, because you can't. I am not going to be everything that everyone wants me to be. Someone will constantly be let down, whether that is yourself or your teachers or those around you. There have been so many tears shed when I feel like I have missed "the mark" or let someone down or wasn't the best at what I was doing. Perfectionism is constantly a war within oneself of trying to do everything perfectly and wanting to let go. Just the thought of letting go seems so freeing, but also impossible for the perfectionist.
Just this week I realized a verse that seems so incredibly simple, but resonated with me so incredibly much as a perfectionist. In Romans 5:8, it states, "While we were still sinners Christ died for us." When my mom told me this verse I was actually on the phone crying to her telling her how I felt like I let everyone around me down, because I am stretched so thinly and can't be everything to everyone. This verse stilled my inner war with my perfectionism, because I then realized that while I was at my very worst, a sinner who actively rebelled against God and didn't even return any of the love He poured out to me, he still died for me. He died for me when I was the farthest thing from good enough. He died for me when I was an imperfect mess. If the creator of the entire universe did this for me, why am I so worried about being perfect all the time?
After I realized that I only needed to be concerned about pleasing one person, and the person already loved me when I was a complete mess and at my worst, I let it go. I let go of being constantly worried about who I was letting down or never being good enough. I am not going to lie, this letting go of control and my perfectionistic tendencies was hard, and is a choice I have to make daily. This is not a one-time thing where you let it all go and suddenly your life is in complete order and you are carefree and happy. It is a daily struggle and war, but one that gives peace and freedom when conquered.
Letting go, however, doesn't mean you stop trying all together. You do the best that you can and then give it to God to take care of the rest. One time I had a teacher in high school tell me that he actually expected me to make mistakes, because I was a 18-year-old girl at the time, and I wasn't supposed to have my life together. This has always stuck with me, because we aren't supposed to have it all together. If we were perfect, then we wouldn't need a God who was perfect to complete us.
So, as Hannah Montana said, "Nobody's Perfect! I gotta work it! Again and again 'til I get it right! Nobody's Perfect! Ya live and ya learn it!" Listen to Hannah Montana's profound advice. Keep trying until you get it right and live and learn. God will help. Depend on Him and let it go.
