A long time ago, when you and I still were clinging onto each other, I used to watch over you. Actually that's not the right word. I used to hover over you. All the time. It was bad. And I don't think you realized how bad it was. But I did. In fact I broke down and I wasn't able to be the friend I wanted so desperately to be for you.
But you pushed me out. All the time. And I took it. And eventually I stopped caring. About you and what you did. Because it wasn't fair to me.
And after all this time, I'm still suffering from the consequences of our choices in more ways than one. In fact, I fall back into old habits. The amount of times I've seen a missed call or message from you I wonder if everything is okay. If it's an emergency and you need me. I see your social media and I can't help but wonder about how you are doing. But I can't feel bad for you any more. It just doesn't mean that I won't be concerned about you. I still care, just not as deeply.
In the end, I know you aren't going to change. But I have. And I won't be the person to save you at the end of the day. So maybe you'll think about that the next time we run into each other.
