When do you know when it’s the right time to finally move on from a previous relationship? I believe that it’s never a matter of when, but the fact that you will. Relationships weren’t meant to be easy or simple but it isn’t easy to move on from them either. Coming from an experience standpoint, I know what pain comes after a breakup. It isn’t easy either when the breakup wasn’t what you planned at all. You were most likely blindsided by this decision which left you distraught. I was waking up looking at the ceiling most days just wasting time wondering what’ll happen to me. Not everyone notices that the person helping others may need saving themselves. With the people around me I often heard them say “You shouldn’t let this get to you” or “You’ll find someone new” but it’s easier said than done. For me, I lost interest in everything. I didn’t have motivation to do anything anymore. Even when I went to school I couldn’t stay still in class without my mind running into every dark corner possible. I was looking for support but never truly accepted it and I found myself walking down a path by myself. I can say this for myself now, never deny help that others are trying to offer you. Help can come from anyone. You will find solace within your friends and family who only want the best for you. In the darkest of times, those who care will rise.
Letting go can be a different experience for everyone. Some may see it as easy as letting a piece of paper go but what if that piece of paper were glass? It’s much more sensitive and prone to breaking. That’s what I mean by saying letting go is an ambiguous term. For me, it wasn’t so easy. Every place I went to reminded me of what use to be. Songs that used to be about them suddenly weren’t easy to listen to. Though it may be like that now, I know that it won’t always be. Advice that was given to me by a close friend was that I needed to go back to the places and music to try and create a new memory above the old ones. It was the only way I was going to be able to let go of a previous definition of that memory.
Hurting is a part of the healing
I’ve heard this saying over a thousand times and it’s true. Not allowing yourself to hurt hinders healing. At least that’s what I believe. There’s always going to be something that holds you back, a part of you that may not like change but knows that it’s necessary. If you keep denying the problem that’s in front of you, the deeper the pain will be. This is the opportunity to make yourself better and to remind yourself that you’ll be back on your feet. Don’t forget that it’s okay to be selfish sometimes. It’s okay to only worry about your well-being. It’s a necessary step that you need to take in order to be at a point where you feel comfortable again. I want to let everyone know who might be going through this, coming from my own experience, don’t ever blame yourself. The worst thing to do is trapping yourself inside your own mind trying to figure out what you did wrong. Fighting a battle with yourself is a losing fight. It never ends well.
Another emotion that fills your body is anger. There’s no easy way to get through this. You look back at everything and see the worst parts of your relationship. You lose sight of all the good times and instead get mad at every little detail that took place. You sometimes tell yourself things that might make you feel that you’re better off at the moment but feel terrible for saying later on. Don’t resent the other party for making their decision but it doesn’t mean you have to be on certain terms with them either. The best advice I can give on the matter is to never regret anything. Once you go off regretting parts of your previous relationship is when you start to regret everything about it.
This is going to sound like a broken record to most of you but take this as a lesson. A chance to focus on yourself and to make yourself a better you. Take this time to do things that you haven’t had the opportunity to do yet. Go out with friends that you haven’t seen in awhile. Watch a movie that you’ve been dying to see. Travel. Do what makes you happy.
You should always want to look back knowing what you’ve accomplished. Seeing where you were at one point in your life and saying “Wow. I made it this far and I have no plans on stopping”
I want to take this chance to just say thank you to certain people in my life who have helped me through such a hard period in my life. Pj, Kyle, Karryl, Nick, Dan, Matt, Krishna, Bridgette, Marcela, V, Michelle and Vanessa. Thank you for being there, making me laugh and smile and most importantly thank you for being in my life.