Letting go of a friend is like letting go of a piece of yourself. It’s not just saying goodbye to that person’s presence in your life—it’s saying goodbye to the laughs, the good times, the happiest of days, and even the saddest of moments together that helped you grow as a person. It’s moving past all the memories you shared together and giving up on the hope of one day making more with them by your side.
It’s the end of who you are as a person because you’ve been forever changed by them in some way, whether you realized it or not.
This has always frightened me, the idea that people can walk in and out of your life so easily after majorly impacting your life. The fact is that people have such a direct effect on who we choose to be that losing their friendship really is like giving up ourselves too. There have been times that I kept people in my life longer than I should have simply because I couldn't bear the thought of what happens once they're gone.
How do you go from talking to someone every day, knowing all of their secrets, memorizing all of their bad habits and quirks, to not even looking them in the eye when you pass them on the streets? After everything you’ve shared with them, to go from best friends to complete strangers feels like a sin. It feels like betraying your history, forgetting who you once were.
As I have gotten older, entered college, met new people, and learned things about myself, I have realized that this fear of letting people go has caused me to keep toxic people in my life. Because I didn't want to deal with the mess that happens when a friendship fails apart, I’ve spent so much of my time trying to fix the unfixable. I have never stopped to consider that maybe things aren’t worth fixing, that maybe I’m actually better off without someone in my life that isn't enhancing it any further.
Letting go is never easy. Nobody ever said it was. But the relief that comes after it—in those cases when you’ve realized that saying goodbye was actually for the better—is a blessing in disguise. The people who are worth keeping in your life will always find a way to stay, and those who are not worth it should be let go.
And that is okay.
