Everyone has had someone pass through their life for only a period of time, that still had some effect on them, whether it was a friendship that drifted apart, a relationship that just didn't work out, or even a person that was just your friend in class until the semester ended. The examples are endless because our lives are filled with people that come and go but what people should realize is this: that is totally okay. The decision that comes after someone leaves has the potential to leave a lasting impact on your attitude toward others. Are you going to have hard feelings because things didn't stay the same, or are you going to move forward, and be grateful for the time that you did have with that person?
With some situations, it's an easy decision to make: if someone who makes you laugh during work quits their job, you probably won't hold it against them. It isn't always that easy though, when someone cheats in a relationship, it seems almost impossible to see a time when you won't be bitter towards that person. It's up to you how you choose to respond to those who come and go in life. For me, I have chosen to start seeing people in a way that has changed my outlook on all of my relationships in life. I have started to just be present with people, and not be so dependent on knowing that a friendship will last forever, or where my relationships will go in the future.
"I see a lot of people in un-stimulating relationships, and not just boyfriend-girlfriend relationships. They find themselves in stagnant friendships. If people were less scared of ending things, they'd get more out of life....You meet the right person at the right time and they fulfill a certain something in your life. You fulfill something in theirs. But there's a limit to that." -Laura Marling
For so long, I tried to stay friends with someone I had dated, even when I knew that we just were no longer good for each other as friends, and by just thinking about losing that friendship, I felt as if I were giving up on something that provided me with a sense of security and comfort. At some point, we have to stop trying to make people fit into our lives, and let them fade out, when they are no longer compatible with us. You can care about someone and let go of your relationship with them, and they can care about you and still move on with their life. No matter what someone has done to you, or whatever reason you have to hold on to any negative feelings, if you give those feelings a little time, and choose to let them go, you allow yourself to be open to new opportunities and to change.
Not everyone is meant to be a permanent fixture in our lives, or we'd never experience the change that brings us to newer and even better experiences. Sometimes those very people who come and go are the ones that can lead us to new opportunities. Just because these people are only in your lives temporarily, it doesn't mean that we shouldn't enjoy every second that we have with them. Some people are meant to just have fun with for the time being, before you each move on in different directions, and that's okay. Those people can still be the ones that you look to with fondness, when you tell your favorite stories.
A more positive way of seeing these experiences is to think of how cool it is that your life crosses with the lives of so many others, and that even if you just know someone for a short time, you can have an effect on their life and their stories. I choose to see it as exciting: there are so many lives that intersect and mix, that we must make the most of every bit of time we have with each other. The sooner we realize that some people are not meant to be in our lives forever, the easier it is to cherish those people while they're around, and accept their departure, when it's time to.
