I might not know who you are, or what you've been through, or what your current situation may be, but I'm begging you to read this.
Life is hard. It can be cruel and cold and morbidly disgusting. It probably feels like your world is crashing all around you and that you've lost all control. It probably feels like there's no more light at the end of the tunnel and that you're never going to escape the darkness that surrounds you.
Maybe you feel like no one will miss you or even notice you're gone. Maybe you feel like you're never going to be successful with anything. Maybe you feel like no one is ever going to want you or love you or want to spend the rest of their life with you. Maybe you feel like this fit of depression or anxiety or any other demon you're battling is never going to end and that this overwhelming hopelessness is going to eternally consume you.
Breathe.
I'm not going to tell you what other people will tell you. I'm not going to tell you not to do it because people will miss you - and they definitely will, don't get me wrong - because I know that guilt trips will do nothing more than make you feel worse about yourself. I'm not going to tell you that you're being selfish, because I know that overwhelming feeling of darkness all too well and that part of you truly does feel like everyone would be better off without you. I'm not going to tell you that other people have it worse, because I know that everyone is different with different limits and backgrounds and that your reality is that everything is just too damn much.
What I will tell you is this: Stay alive, not for the pleasures and conveniences of those who surround you, but for your own hope and future. Stay alive because as detrimental and impossible as everything may seem right now, you will someday experience a level of happiness just as fierce. Stay alive because you have every right in the world to experience how much better everything will be for you someday. Stay alive because you are someone worth fighting for, even if you're the only one fighting.
You are important. I know it doesn't feel that way, but everything in life is so beautifully and chaotically intertwined in a way where every little part of you has a reason for its existence. You do have a right to feel the way you feel. Never allow yourself to think that you are less than a human being for feeling both life's blessings and failures, or for giving those feelings a voice. You will survive this. It may seem like a never-ending war zone inside your head, but your triumph is just around the corner and you deserve to see your own victory.
Find something you love about yourself. Just one tiny thing, even if it seems impossible at first. Write it down. Say it in front of the mirror. Do this every single day until you believe it and then find something new each week. You deserve to love yourself. You deserve to find yourself.
You will escape this shadow, for the sun will always rise. Survive for you, if for no one else. Stand your ground, and you shall conquer.
With Love,
Em
