“Your 20’s are your selfish years. It’s a decade to immerse yourself in every single thing possible. Be selfish with your time, and all the aspects of you. Travel, explore, love a lot, love a little, and never touch the ground.” - Kyoko Escamilla
In this crazy world, with 7.125 billion people, there is one person we should care about the most: ourselves. When most of us were raised to care about others first, it is not easy to care about ourselves. I have struggled with this myself, but I am working on it.
Recently, I have turned 20 years old. Time to begin a new chapter of my life, but before I can enter this one, I need to reflect on these past 20 years. Each day I am learning something new about myself and learning how to love me for me. Loving myself was never my number one priority in life, but it is now.
I have come to the realization that over these past 20 years I have been looking from the outside in. I have cared more about the opinions of those around me, than the opinion inside of my head. I have let people walk out of my life because others did not like them. This is- and was never- healthy, and I don't know why I am just realizing this now. I spent most of my days scrolling through the various social medias to take note of how others live their happy lives; instead I could have been doing things I found happiness in!
When I was younger, I remember so vividly driving in the car and looking out my window at all the drivers passing. I used to observe them, create a story in my head of who they were and where they were going; most of them being girls who seemed to be in their 20's. These girls appeared to be so much older to me and I used to think to myself, "I want to be like them when I am their age; I want to have my life figured out." Now look at me, I am 20 years old and I don't even know how to form my own thoughts to create a sentence; this may as well be called "a rant of my own emotions."
I have been stuck in this "I don't know" stage for quite some time now, and I keep asking myself, will I ever get out of it? I am not sure. We as human beings go through stages more frequently than not. Growing up I lived in the stage of layering tank tops over my t-shirts and matching my eyeliner to my outfit. Today, my stages coincide with the world around me; one day I love the chic, Pinterest fashion, while the next I love the "hobo," no makeup look.
This "I don't know" stage has really taken a toll on who I am and where I see myself going. I constantly feel like this is it, this time in my life might as well be my peak. I know who I want to be, but how do I possibly get there. I feel stuck. I try and remind myself each day to keep looking forward and stay positive, but how can I look forward and stay positive when I have no idea what the future holds.
I have to learn that wishing my life was someone else's is not going to make me happy, and I think this is where I have failed myself.
I constantly ask myself, why am I not happy with who I am, I have a lot going for me. I have an amazing family, a loving boyfriend, I have friends who support me, I am grateful to be furthering my education, and I have a job in my desired field; what more could I possibly want? How could I not be the happiest person in the world? How could I not wake up everyday ready to share my positivity? And why do I not have these answers?
This may not have helped, but I can't do that for you. You are the captain of your own life; don't just sit back and let life happen to you. Each of us are trying to take on this crazy thing we call life. It may not be easy, but at least we can get through it knowing we are not alone.
"Don't care what other people tell you to do. Do what makes you happy!" -Alicia
"Give yourself compliments on accomplishments or small things you do every day!!" -Sarah
"Don't let other people take advantage of you or walk all over you." -Paige
"Believe in yourself, do what makes you happy." -Emily
"No one is you and that is your power." -Karley
"Embrace your flaws as much as you embrace your good qualities." -Amanda
"You have to take care of yourself, put yourself first and make your happiness a priority because at the end of the day, all you really have is yourself and your own life." -Lauren
"Take your mistakes and use them to grow. Your past is not a representation of your future, rather a means of remembering how far you have come." -Kaitlyn
"Only you can create your own happiness." -Casey
"Live in the present and know that only your opinion matters." -Amy
"You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." -Danielle
"Learn from your mistakes and forgive yourself." -Rebecca
