Hey there, "Coach."
How's it going? I haven't talked to you in quite a while; I'm sure you understand, though. Some people would say it's just because life got in the way or because I'm not playing for you anymore I don't have very many reasons to contact you much. It wasn't kept a secret that I wasn't one of your favorite or star players or that we were close family friends or anything like that. You didn't treat me special or make me feel good about myself each chance you had like you did with some of the other girls on our team; most of the time you didn't really give me any praise at all... Unless the stars weren't there to show what they could do. There is one major problem with this whole thing, though; your "star players" weren't all that much better than me.
You see, the main difference between me and those players you would give all of my playing time to was the level of confidence they had. Their confidence levels were so much higher than mine at the time and I can give you one reason as to why: you. I never felt like I was good enough playing for you no matter how hard I worked at practice or how well I played during a game. The end of the season was quickly approaching and playoffs were right around the corner; one of the biggest games of the year was coming up, and I had never been so excited for a game. You gave me one shift at the very end of the game, and when I talked to you about it after, you basically told me I didn't have what it takes to play the game I had been playing for the last seven years of my life. Playing for you is what almost made me quit and give up one of the biggest parts of my life; it's also part of what made me who I am today and one of the reasons I'm still playing in college.
Although you made me want to quit right then and there, I came back and I finished out the rest of the weekend. I thank you and that team. I couldn't wait for the weekend to end so I never had to play for you again... That is if I ever played again at all. I walked right through the lobby ignoring everybody there until I got into the parking lot where my mom stopped me and allowed me to break before we got into the car to go home. I will never forget that night or the words you told me to break my heart and completely wreck any confidence I had left. After that weekend my intention to play again was very very slim if I had any intention left at all. Despite what you said to me and put me through that entire season, leading me to believe I wasn't good enough to play for not only you but for a school I felt I wanted to play for, here I am today, and let me tell you I'm better than ever.
That night you may have torn me down, but you also gave me one more reason to work 10 times harder for anything I want in my life. You gave me reasons to never give up no matter what the cost. Whether it may be hockey, school, relationships, friendships, family problems... I am so much stronger now because of you. Thank you for putting your own success ahead of mine and for giving me the option to imagine my life today if I had made the decision to quit that night and never look back. Had I done that like I wanted to, I definitely would not be where I am today and I would not have been on a team that made it to the semifinals in the national championship last year. Once again, thank you for not only that night but the entire season also; I learned a lot during those seven or so months and most of what I learned wasn't about my sport; it was about life. So thank you for helping me become the strong person I am today. I'll never forget you, "Coach."
Sincerely,
The Player You Almost Broke
