I find myself sitting here watching a movie with my best friend, with all these questions flying around in my head that I wish I knew the answers to. I don't know how to stumble across these answers because I have no clear who to ask.
My best friend is the same age as me. She's not going to know what it's like to be single and free at the same time as wanting to be with the "love of you life". If she does, how is she supposed to explain that feeling to me? If I ask mom, I feel like she's just going to think I'm crazy. This is where I need you. I need a big sister to reassure me that I'm not screwing my life up. I need to hear that it's okay to break up with that boy because I wasn't in love with him. I need you to tell me that it's okay to lose friends, and if I'm losing that friend, maybe they weren't really a friend in the first place.
What do I do when a boy hits me up at 11:30 pm for a booty call? Do I go? Do I respectfully decline? How do you even respectfully decline an offer like that? What should I do when a really cute guy is flirting with me and then I find out he's in a serious relationship? How do I not allow my feelings get the best of me? Is there anything wrong with being a little cold towards feelings? That's how you don't end up liking the wrong guys, right? If it's not, then how do I go about not falling for the wrong guy? Should I go out with the cute older guy I met at the coffee shop? What if him and I get serious with one another? I'm afraid of getting serious with someone and I always find a way to screw things up to run away from commitment.
Is it wrong that I wanna go out and have fun? Is it wrong that I wanna meet a cute guy and maybe make out with him and then not see him again? Is it wrong that I wanna just get drunk and sing karaoke like I was a pop star for the night? I have so many questions and no one that I feel like I can ask for answers.
I need to someone that walked down the same road as I have to tell me that it's going to all be alright in the end. To tell me I'm not the only one who's been where I am right now. To tell me 22 is a confusing age. To tell me that the entirety of my 20s is confusing and messy.
I feel like every girl deserves to have a big sister to teach her about life. To tell her crazy stories about boys and what to do when boys are being jerks.
It's difficult being the big sister sometimes. Having to always know what to say when the little one is upset or having to deal with a dumb guy. I can only give so much advice before I run out of advice to give. I just wish I had a big sister to call my own.