To My Loved Ones,

When you become ill, I mean long-term chronically ill, it is undeniable that the sickness will cause a strain on not only your daily activities but also on the relationships that you share with people. The term chronically ill can be interpreted in this letter as any sort of medical condition that is preventing you to live your life to the fullest, such as depression, anxiety, POTs, fibromyalgia, cystic fibrosis, EDS and many other conditions. These illnesses take a lot from a person, and things are not the same after the illness starts to unmask itself. I will be the first to admit that being sick has been a burden on myself of course, but I’ve seen it emotionally drain my family as well at times. This by no means is meant to say that they don’t love me because they do, very much. They’ve been by my side throughout the entire journey as I am trying to become myself again and to somehow get around this. However, along the way I’ve lost quite a bit of people to this all. Some were friends that I had for a while and people I loved and thought cared about me as well. As soon as things began to take a turn for the worst, they took a sharp turn on their heels and ran the opposite way, never looking back at me. At first, I was really hurt by this and I questioned why it was all happening, but I came to an epiphany on one of my lonesome days at the time. I realized that maybe this wasn’t such a bad thing in the long run. I had not lost everyone. I only lost the people who were not really my friends to begin with; people who were never truly invested in me as a person. I still have my loved ones that are hanging on and supporting me. That’s right, I am talking about you.

I want to take a moment to thank my loved ones for never leaving my side. When the waters became dark, clouded, and I began to slip under again, you pulled me back to the surface for a breath of fresh air. When I felt like the four walls were closing in on me and I had nowhere to go, you opened a door and shined a little light. When I wanted to give up on trying, to just sit around in my own pity party, you were not allowing me to do that. You picked me up, dusted me off, then sent me back on my way to work towards my goals. When I felt like I was nothing but a burden to everyone in my life, you listened and comforted me. After I was done lamenting my thoughts, you set me straight and told me that life is going to be tough but friends and family will always make it a little easier. They were there for me as I am there for them. When I was exceptionally depressed from the loss of hope of ever getting better, I stopped eating as much. You constantly checked on me to see if I was alright, if I did eat and if I wanted to do something. You always were understanding when things were happening to my health and when I couldn’t do anything and there was no explanation as to why. I saw you got frustrated at times (at times you still do), not with me, but with what was happening with me. I know it impacted your life a whole lot too, and I’m so grateful to call you a loved one of mine, to have someone like you around.

I want to thank you for cheering me on, for your understanding when things sometimes are too hard to explain, for staying with me when I need you, for never judging me for who I am, for having faith in me when I don’t see it in myself and for never allowing me to strive for the stars when the goal is the moon. I would not be at the place I am without you. Without the love and support you have given and still continue to give, I wouldn’t have made it this far. With the encouragement, love, motivation and friendship you’ve given me, you’ve given me hope and drive to continue. So once again, thank you for loving me and being my shoulder when the world was falling apart. I love you.

Sincerely,