So it's another bad day.
You didn't have to tell me because I remember how often those disheartening days came around. I know that you feel sad and alone, different because everyone else has a real smile and yours is just a mask. You know that mask very well because of how much time it took to construct. Careful effort put into intricate details, making your smile seem realistic, using just the right colors to match your skin tone, even adding those little freckles that people love. But, you forgot something. Your eyes. They aren't quite right, for you forgot to add the light to them.
Don't feel bad though. It honestly is a good thing. That missing light is what called attention to you, it was the guide for the search party. I know it's hard to believe now, but you left out your eyes on purpose. You wanted someone to see you, to push past the mask and notice the broken person below. Those blue eyes without sunlight, they were your tell; it's where you saved the last of your strength.
I want you to listen to me and take off the mask.
You have done so well! Please know that it is okay to let the tears flow. Talk to your friends, let them help you through the darkness and bring the sunlight back. You have strength in numbers, so allow those who care about you to remove the mask and patch up your actual smile. Do not allow the words and actions of others to determine who you are and what you think about yourself. Shine brighter despite it, and you will come out on the other side as a better person. There will be harder days ahead. More loss and sadness, broken trust and tears. But I can tell you this, you are strong enough for it all. God will send you blessing after blessing, chasing out the darkness that continually pulls at your heart. You will no longer feel the emptiness inside your chest. No more seemingly endless nights. Because, healing comes with time.
My high school self, you are beautiful and so loved. Wipe the tears from your eyes and know that in the end all things work out for the best. I can promise you that from the bottom of my heart.
With love,
Me
