You and I have gone through a lot with one another. It was a continuous cycle of you disrupting my life in some sort of way, and me allowing you to affect my life. You would appear while I was in class, just trying to do my work like a normal student. You would appear during a lacrosse game and I would get beat. When I was home doing homework you just always had to come around. Suddenly, I was on all social media sites. I would start and project and not be able to finish it because of you. All throughout high school you were my nightmare. All I ever wanted was for you to be gone. I wanted to be able to feel like a normal teenager that didn't have to take medicine that made me a zombie. You forced me to accept that medicine was the only way I was going to be normal.
I hated you every day. Every single day, I woke up and hated you. I never used you as an excuse for anything. In time this made it hard to explain why I couldn't finish my work or got suddenly distracted. I would not be able to do homework for a single class without stopping half way because I started on something else that got my attention. There were many days I just wanted to stand on top of roofs and scream to the world the real reason for my childish behavior, my unable to sit still, and my energy. Energy, that allowed me to stay up until 3am and wake up at 7am and have no troubles staying awake.
One day, I had a realization. I realized I cannot live wishing I was someone else. Wishing I didn't have this mental disorder. I came to the conclusion I will finally accept you for what you were, a mental disorder.
One day, I began to accept myself. I began to accept all the flaws that came with me and all the quirks you provided me.
Now, I don't apologize for my mental disorder because it has made me a better stronger person. I don't allow you to defy me as a person anymore. I will defy myself. You, ADHD will no longer hold me back. No longer hinder me in the classroom. No longer hinder my play on the field. Most importantly, you will no loner have me wishing I was someone else. ADHD, you are now welcomed, and apart of who I am and I am okay with that. You can distract me and give me all the energy you want but I will accept whatever you throw at me now. So ADHD, thank you. Thank you for blessing me with this challenge in my life that makes me who I am today.
The girl you thought you destroyed.