Love is a beautiful feeling to have, but it's not all that cracked out to be when you are a broken person. Let me begin by explaining what it means to be broken.
To feel broken is when you don't trust people, and loving anyone is very hard and opening up to people is even harder. I am personally an extrovert, being an extrovert is easy. People who are extroverts are very approachable and sociable, but extroverts can be broken people. It is hard to trust people and love them, yet alone explain to them what it means to be broken.
Young girls and women fall in love with a broken men expecting that their love can change that person. Let me say this; it can't. As a broken person I have been loved unconditionally by many people but loving them back was extremely hard.
I want to apologize to the people who I have hurt in the process of loving me. I know that as a broken person my insecurities, my trust issues are hard to handle. I know that loving a broken person most of the time feels like a full-time job.
You did everything you could do to love me, but some people –– damaged people, broken people –– like me cannot be saved by love. It is an internal battle that each and every single one of us who feel broken and are broken, we have to face on our own. The best way I can explain being a broken person is like being a broken vase, no matter how much water you put into it, it will always leak.
Some days are harder than others, broken people sometimes feel okay but sometimes they are convinced that they are only broken and that is all they will ever be. You begin to wonder if anyone else can tell that you are broken, so you make sure nobody knows that you are feeling broken.
You put a poised artwork of your smile on you face for the audience but it leaves you when the audience is gone. Solitude finds you. You feel lonely around all of those people. Some people tell you just to get over it or that it will be OK; this too shall pass. So you try to make it pass, you try to get over it, you try to cover it up, you veil yourself and tell yourself that no one will see it.
But darling as broken people we tend to break harder every time we try to cover it up. You find yourself slipping slowly as words escape your mouth. You feel like you are becoming smaller, you keep telling yourself don't let them see it or feel it.
Darling maybe you have been worn, bruised, and feel like parts of you have been lost that you can't ever get back. But we as humans are more resilient than you think. You're still standing, you're still breathing you're still taking care of your business.
Your damage is not a problem, your weakness is not a weakness it is strength. When you become convinced that you're broken, just remember your heart is still beating, it may beat slow but its beating.
You're not broken you are living.
