This letter is to my big sister, in particular, but hopefully anyone with a graduating big sister will be able to relate.

Dear Big,

Please don't leave me. You took me under your wing when I was a lowly and confused first year. I remember thinking you seemed so cool and so old when we first met. I still think you're really cool, but I can't help but laugh at the notion of ever thinking of a second year as “old."

We met for the first time at the Pav and I ordered soup, which I was then self-conscious about. Soup is like the opposite of cool. You liked me, anyway, although I wasn't sure until the first time we went out together. You turned to me and said, “You better put me first on your list, because I'm putting you first." I was surprised, but in the best way.

You showered me with presents and events during Big Sis Week like any good big does. Thank you so much for that. But even that glorious week pales in comparison with how much your friendship means to me. We text almost daily about how done we are with schoolwork and mean people, but the selfish part of me isn't ready to let you leave.

Who am I going to tag in funny Vines? Who else can analyze screenshots of text conversations with such discretion and expertise? Who else can I trust with my most heinous and hungover Snapchats? Am I supposed to become the responsible fourth year? I am undeniably a little. I need someone to tell me where to shop and what party to go to and whom I can trust. You sympathize with me when I pull all-nighters, even though they are entirely a result of my own laziness and procrastination. Our relationship might have started via the sorority, but I know it means so much more than that.

People that dismiss sororities because you “pay for your friends" don't understand how important this social structure is to me. I am not the girl who walks into a room and commands attention. I am not the outgoing girl at the party everyone wants to be around. I like to party and I am talkative, but no one would know it from an everyday interaction with me. My sorority was a way to force people to get to know me, for better or worse. Our big/little pairing was the result of a setup, but it has never been a false relationship. I am so grateful you saw past my shyness and embraced me as your little, and then as one of your best friends.

I can beg and plead and complain, but you will leave me. You are destined for bigger and better things, and I am not just saying that. You will move to a big city and be a "real person." I will be here and you will be there, and we will be drinking different wines on different couches with different people. I hope we will both be watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. We will be apart, but I will still be your little and you will still be my big.

And maybe next year, I will become a "real person" and move to a big city. With any luck, it will be the same big city, and you can be my guide again. But if not, we will be okay.

Love,

Little