"When you don’t move the mountains I need you to move, I will still trust in you."
But how hard is it for us to actually remember that I easily forget to let go and let God when things don’t go the way I WANT them to go. I quickly forget about God's goodness.
I forget that I’m not in charge but HE is. My plans aren’t his plans. As hard as I try — he shuts them all down. And that is the problem. I “try." He wants me to stop trying and just let everything be because at the end of the day I won't get the answers or expectations I wanted.
The job you didn’t get, the relationship that didn’t work out, and all those people that rejected you- just know everything happens for a reason. As crazy and untrue as it sounds it’s TRUE. Everything does happen for a reason.
"God steps in whenever something isn't for us. And he will make it very clear to you."
I chased after so many things. I tried so hard to fix and change things in people, including myself. I thought I was in the wrong and began to believe all the negative comments I was given and started settling for less than what I truly deserved. I had plenty of warning signs that whatever I was doing wasn't the best thing for me. My mind knew I had to let go but my heart couldn't actually do it.
I was in a battle with myself and thought things would change and that everything will work out. That didn't stop me from chasing after what was the most toxic person I've encountered but you see when you're with them for a while you accustom to that life and accept everything they say to you and how you get treated. I became used to his behavior and ways.
I didn't see it as a problem anymore and I didn't want to listen to anyone who told me he wasn't good. I truly believed that my way would work. With my luck, I got exactly what I was warned about by everybody and even myself but I tried denying it.
I ended up with a broken heart, and emotionally a wreck. I couldn't believe it was the end of what I thought was love.
As I'm looking back now, I can truly see how manipulated I was and how emotionally abusive this guy actually was. For close to a year I was made out to be the crazy one who was paranoid and had trust issues, but everything had a reason behind it.
I can say I'm quite disappointed in myself for not listening and pushing everyone away because I was tired of hearing them tell me it wasn't going to end well but this is a big thank you to everyone who stuck with me on this roller coaster that I'm sure seemed to be one that wasn't going to end. I can finally say that I feel at peace with myself and I feel free. It feels like the air has cleared and I still have work to do but I'm proud to say I am moving on.
As hard as it is we have to let go of what we want and understand it's completely out our hands to change someone. God knows our desires and he will make it happen in his perfect timing. Letting go is hard, I’m not going to sugar coat it. It really is- but going through the pain makes us stronger and gives you a powerful feeling that now you are in control. This season I’m facing is hard but I have the best support system and always trust in him. His ways are always good and for the best of us even in moments when we think they're not.
God has a plan for each of us. How beautiful is knowing that? So during your trials, please don't lose focus.
Let go and let God.