I have never been much of a partier. As quite the introvert in high school, the very thought of being forced to be around drunk people doing things that they will never remember in the morning was never appealing to. Quite frankly, I would just rather kick back in my room, listen to some music, and just do sweet nothings for practically all my life. Yet college has been different for me. Since I have had to completely redevelop my social skills since I got here, I've also become surprisingly extroverted. I actually crave social contact and feel like I can actually go up and introduce myself to others and be completely fine with it. Sure, I may have the occasional burst of social anxiety holding me back (especially when around the oh-so-dreaded phenomenon known as attractive people), but that is a great improvement considering my former difficulties.
But on Saturday night my friends and I decided to go to a party. A frat party. The mere mention of those words horrified me. I had heard the rumors and seen the nightmare that frat parties could become, so I was skeptical. But, I decided that I might as well just go with it and have some fun for a change. I wore the best casual clothes I could find and hit the road.
For the record, I did not drink. I know myself too much to let that happen. But being sober around a room full of drunk people can teach you some valuable lessons in what really goes on in the lives of the chronically sloshed. Honestly, I found it nice to let my metaphorical hair down and get turnt on my own stupidity for a change. So here are some of my observations:
1. It only took a quarter of a sip of beer before I realized that I have one more thing to add on to my list of regrets.
2. There is a reason why grinding was banned at my high school dances. People really get into it in college.
3. Black lights will reveal lint on your shirt.
4. Twerking in hot pants can be dangerous if you go too hard.
5. When people get into dancing, they do not care if they bash into you. Twice.
6. The DJ is not above playing a specific song that defames Donald Trump (not that I mind, or anything).
7. The DJ is also not above skipping in the middle of songs while you are dancing at your fiercest.
8. Slow songs are the death of a good dance floor.
9. You do not need to be hungover to crave greasy food around that much alcohol.
10. Yet, at the same time, it is possible to wake up with the symptoms of a hangover while only drinking a couple CCs of beer at the most.
11. Being a lightweight is okay.
12. I have beaten my personal record for the number of marijuana strains smelled in one hour. Five is going to be hard to beat.
13. Beware of any tripping hazards on the dance floor. You and everyone else behind you will trip.
14. Don't worry about looking like a fool. Most won't even remember your clumsy dance moves.
15. Clumsy dancing is not only good physical exercise, it's also good bonding exercise.
16. That liquid you just slipped on walking out of the dance floor? It's just spilled beer. I promise.
17. Not all frats are viciously problematic at their parties.
18. The "bouncers" at the door really shouldn't be handing out bracelets to indicate you're 21. People are good liars.
19. Pretty much no one cares about the drinking age.
20. When everyone's drunk, however, many won't even remember how many beers they've had, let alone if they're old enough to drink in the first place.
Will I go back to a frat party? Maybe. I was not sure if the whole experience was worth it until my drunk friend made us buy ungodly amounts of french fries after we left. But I'm certain that if I do go, I will make plenty more observations that will keep me up at night in endless thought.
