Dear person reading this,

Look at that-- a clickbait title.

Hello. Yes, I have been single my whole life, all almost 2 decades of it. I'm aware this is a clickable, exciting topic. I have written the words "I'm single" on a blank word document for months hoping that an article would somehow appear with time. But I couldn't do it, write about how horrible or great being single is. The more I forced myself to analyze my singleness, I am struck by the fact that being single was never my problem.

The only problem about being single is how others react to this fact about my singleness that somehow warrants pity. However I've found that people who care about this, and make you feel like you are somehow less without people wanting you, are not worth it. A relationship is not something to be won, I did not miss a level in growing up that must be achieved to have worth.

Being the single girl is not a breeze. As a girl especially, you have to learn to be tough. Learning to dismiss the pity that comes from people who know that you've always been single is hard but the chilling rationalization from women and men about why you weren't "chosen" is harder.

But being the girl without a boyfriend is only a problem if you let it define who you are. And while I am bad at many things, including getting a boyfriend, I am aware that there is so much more to me than that. My real friends believe this too, and this helped me realize that the most important thing I learned from being single was the fact that being single was no obstacle to overcome.

Through the years, I've seen girls break who they are to shove themselves into the puzzle piece that fits with the boy they want. I've watched girls give up fun evenings because they had to find a date, which forced and complicated an otherwise fun night.

But I've also watched girls grow in relationships and become more trusting through the supportive nature of their relationship.

I have never learned how to unlock a boyfriend in this game of life. But that isn't the point. I've learned the true place that romantic relationships play in any life, which is an accessory. They, by all means, can make you happy and improve your life, but they are not a necessary part of who you are. You are not more or less of a person when you are with someone else. You can be whole on your own. Life isn't about finding prince charming; it's about living your best life, and maybe you'll find someone who wants to be a part of an awesome life you've already begun building.

Thanks for reading,

Your friendly neighborhood single girl