Growing up, I always knew that my family was different and as I got older, this only became more true. My family has a history of mental illnesses ranging from the most severe to high functioning anxiety. By the combination of bad genetics and some sh*tty luck, my family has dealt with the brunt of mental illness my entire life. If you have anyone your family with a mental illness you understand the implication that it carries with you and your family. The weight of explanations, reassurance, and societal views is a constant in the lives of those with mental illnesses and their families. Growing up with this history and background, I learned a lot about the way that we treat individuals with mental illness and it ultimately made me learn to love differently.
Growing up learning to love family with mental illnesses means that you love with patience, kindness, consideration, and beauty so rare that people hardly see it. Loving someone that has a mental illness means taking their mental illness into consideration when they have had a bad day or say something mean to you. Loving someone with a mental illness means understanding their illness the best you can and realizing that you will never fully understand it.
It's coming to the conclusion that the good days in your house are a different kind of good day compared to your friends. It's understanding that your family's bad day is far worse than any of your friends can imagine. It's understanding that despite the bad days, your family loves anyway and the mental illness can cause a lot of unintended pain and hurt. Its understanding that erratic actions and words are never personal, no matter how personal it may seem.
Loving family with mental illness has taught me to look for love in totally different ways. It's taught me that love is found and needed despite the persons the inability to communicate that. It's taught me that love isn't ignorant but rather full of knowledge and understanding. It's separating the actions of the illness from the actions of the individual and forgiveness to whole new level.
Having family with mental illness used to both scare me and make wonder about how it has changed me as person. It's not always the easiest road, but the love I've receive and given from these individuals makes it worth it. So often mental illness is regarded in a negative light, but with time and patience so many lessons can be learned in how to love differently.
